MICHIGAN VS. EVERYBODY: MICHIGAN STATE

MICHIGAN STATE

Not unlike children in Gaza living under the warped umbrella of Hamas, students attending Michigan State become indoctrinated during their time in East Lansing – indoctrinated to hate the University of Michigan and anyone associated with it with a blind and infinite rage. I watched close friends and former classmates succumb to this phenomenon. At first, I took offense to it, especially from those who had cheered for Michigan at one point in their lives. Granted I was naive, and granted I was (and am) overly sensitive, but some of the things that lifelong friends posted on Facebook (i.e. “scUM”) about the university I attended hurt me. 

As the years went on, though, I realized it was just fucking sad. During the Mark Dantonio era I routinely watched Spartan football players take cheap shots, late hits, commit unsportsmanlike conduct penalties with intent to injure, and generally play dirty when they thought the refs wouldn’t catch them. William Gholston’s actions during the 2011 game exemplified the era. Gholston not only punched Taylor Lewan during that game, he also ripped upwards on Denard Robinson’s facemask while Robinson lay prone at the bottom of a pile after the whistle, yanking his head upwards in doing so. Though Gholston's unsportsmanlike actions earned him a one-game suspension, after the fact, they also surely earned him lifetime membership in the Spartan Dawg Club. Hating Michigan literally becomes a Spartan's entire identity, and this is why Appalachian State remains, for most State fans, one of the biggest victories in the history of their football program. Such an externally focused identity prevents introspection, a skill that just might serve the poster child of dysfunctional institutions (and dysfunctional leadership) well.

Last year, following a 29-7 drubbing in the Big House, some Spartans exposed the dark depths such an indoctrination in hatred ultimately amounts to when at least eight MSU football players grouped up on two Michigan players inside the tunnel and assaulted them. Chris Solari, who covered the game for The Detroit Free Press, witnessed the assault and reported several Spartans punching, shoving, and kicking sophomore defensive back JaDen McBurrows, who suffered a potential broken nose in the assault. Video footage silenced many of the Sparty-homers who tried to defend the assault, but not all of them. That wasn’t even the worst of the thuggery, though. In a separate scuffle, Khary Crump swung his helmet violently at Gemon Green while another Spartan helped restrain him. Green sustained a concussion, in addition to facial and upper body bruises. Bob Wojnowski of The Detroit News aptly summarized the actions of these Spartans as “profound cowardice.” To his credit, Mel Tucker suspended eight of his players for their role in the attack, calling their behavior “inexcusable.” Prosecutors ultimately charged seven of them with crimes. Khary Crump faced a charge of felonious assault. 

That backstory made the 2023 night game at Michigan State a giddy prospect. I wanted blood and I knew Harbaugh wanted it too. MSU was about to get their bare asses paddled in front of their home crowd, and the only question in the weeks leading up to the game was how bad it would be. 

Offensive tackle Trevor Keegan, who admitted after the game that the team wasn’t over last year’s tunnel incident, used at least a tube of eye black to cover his face in warpaint, and his image on the field at Spartan Stadium encapsulated my inner zeitgeist. Keegan painted all of the skin around his eyes black, a look that reminded me of the roided-out Steve Lattimer character from the film The Program, with an added touch of scars at the corners of his mouth a la Heath Ledger’s Joker. The look said it all: no prisoners tonight. This one was not just about beating Sparty to further our long-term goals of a Big Ten and National Championship; this one was about payback, revenge, and justice. It was about sending a message and inflicting rock bottom on a program tarnished by scandal, then not acting like classless goons afterward. 

Saturday, October 21, 2023

Didn’t sleep, Friday night, so I was waiting for the College Gameday shows to start. I wanted to hear the analysts’ takes on Michigan’s most recent NCAA accusation in regards to sign stealing (read: scouting opponents). That bombshell of a story dropped on Thursday, my busy day at work. I dubbed it white noise – people hated Harbaugh – until an ESPN article dropped Friday morning, followed shortly thereafter by the suspension of a Michigan staffer named Connor Stallions. I’d never heard his name before Friday. In the BOX group chat, Paul expressed worry, and that heightened my own a bit. 

Besides that topic, Saturday’s slate featured some interesting games. It started with a Big Ten East showdown, 6-0 Penn State at 6-0 Ohio State. Both ESPN College Gameday and Fox’s Big Noon Kickoff set up shop in Columbus for the affair, providing Buckeye fans the opportunity to salute Urban Meyer and give him a warm homecoming. Also returning was rising NFL star C.J. Stroud, who sat down with the ESPN crew and made the guest picks for College Gameday. Many of the signs in the audience alluded to the Michigan sign-stealing investigation; some were even clever, like “Harbaugh stole my other sign.”

Incredibly, Penn State went 1 for 16 on third downs in the game, with their only conversion coming late in garbage time. Nittany Lions quarterback Drew Allar obviously contributed to that stat, underwhelming in his first appearance on a big stage; he completed only 18 of 42 passes for 191 yards. Fellow first-year starter Kyle McCord was better, but not stellar, going 22 of 35 for 286 yards. The Buckeyes QB had the advantage of throwing to Marvin Harrison Jr., who caught 11 of those balls – half of McCord’s completions – for 162 yards and a touchdown. Harrison Jr. was the clear MVP of the game, in my estimation. 

Tennessee traveled to Bama next. Ex-Michigan QB Joe Milton looked spectacular early, leading the Vols to a 20-7 lead at half, but the Crimson Tide stormed back in the second half, winning 34-20. Cigar smoke wafted across the field at Bryant-Denny. At the same time P.J. Fleck and the Minnesota Gophers battled it out with the offensively challenged Hawkeyes for the bronze pig, also known as the Floyd of Rosedale Trophy. The Gophers celebrated after Iowa’s go-ahead punt return touchdown got negated by the officials, who ruled the Iowa return man had signaled fair catch, a controversial call that left Kinnick Stadium stunned, apoplectic, and pigless. 

Then, at 6:30 CT, Michigan took the field at a hostile Spartan Stadium. The Spartan Dawgs wore their all-black uniforms. Michigan came out in their road white jerseys with navy pants. The weather was chilly enough for Jim Harbaugh to break out the puffer jacket. Absent from the Michigan State sideline was Mel Tucker, who Michigan State fired in September for his involvement in a sexual harassment scandal. Filling his shoes (and headset) was interim head coach and generally upstanding guy Harlon Barnett, who played safety for George Perles at Michigan State from 1986-1989, earning All-American honors during his senior season.

Was there any question that Michigan wanted the ball first? JJ McCarthy, like Trevor Keegan, had used a little extra eye black for the night game, smearing it across his cheeks. Wearing #9, Michigan’s stoic leader took the field at his own 16-yard line after Semaj Morgan foolishly fielded the opening kickoff. JJ snapped the ball and threw a seven-yard completion to Blake Corum, then did the same on the next play for 10 yards. Methodically McCarthy marched his Wolverines down field in this fashion, completing 5 of 6 passing attempts on the drive, one that went 76 yards and lasted six minutes plus. On the 12th play of the drive, he handed the ball to Mr. Automatic. Corum promptly punched it in for his thirteenth touchdown of the season, and James Turner booted the extra point to put the road team up 7-0 early.

After the Michigan defense forced a turnover on downs, McCarthy continued to sharpen his weapons. He went 4 for 4 on the ensuing drive, his fourth completion going to Roman Wilson for a 25-yard touchdown. Wilson's touchdown gave him ten on the year through only eight games, proof the Hawaiian deserved the coveted number one jersey. After allowing a whole 26 yards on MSU's opening drive, Michigan's defense tightened during State's second drive; the drive lasted only three plays and netted the Spartans -5 yards. Punter Ryan Eckley entered the game for the first time and booted it 49 yards, setting up a 1st and 10 for Michigan at their own 34-yard line. From there, McCarthy cooked up another scoring drive, leaning heavily on AJ Barner and Colston Loveland, twin weapons at tight end. A beautiful 22-yard touchdown pass to Loveland beat solid coverage by MSU and gave JJ his second touchdown of the half. His third touchdown of the season, Loveland boldly struck the Paul Bunyan pose in the endzone. Their team in a three-score hole, Spartan Stadium went silent. 

Michigan State finally forced a punt on Michigan’s next possession, but McCarthy picked up where he left off on his fifth possession. After scrambling for 22 yards on the ground, setting up a 1st and 10 from the Michigan State 22-yard line, McCarthy once again found Loveland for a 22-yard touchdown strike, this time on a seam over the middle. That gave JJ three touchdown passes in the first half, two of those coming on beautiful deliveries to Loveland; he looked as sharp as he had all season. Up 28-0, at that point, Michigan refused to let up. After the defense forced yet another punt, McCarthy orchestrated an efficient two-minute drill that saw Michigan march 76 yards in only a minute and a half. A completion to Donovan Edwards on 1st and goal from the 10 pushed the ball to the Michigan State 4-yard line. JJ snapped the ball on 2nd and goal with 8 seconds remaining in the half and connected with AJ Barner for what appeared to be McCarthy's fourth touchdown pass of the half, one that would have given Michigan a cutthroat 35-zilch halftime lead. Alas, officials wiped out Barner's touchdown when they called Donovan Edwards for a phantom false start call. The false start call required a ten-second run off on the game clock; in effect, it gifted Michigan State a mercy ending to the half. Merry Christmas, Sparty. It was still Michigan’s largest halftime lead in the rivalry since 1947.

Perhaps looking for a moral victory, if nothing else, State looked to get back on track when they got the ball to start the second half. Redshirt freshman quarterback Kaitin Houser and the Spartan offense showed signs of life, even moving into Michigan territory, but any hopes still lingering in Spartan Stadium evaporated when Houser threw an interception on 4th and 7. Mike Sainristil picked Houser off and took it 72 yards to the house, scoring his second touchdown of the season. Following the pick-six, Michigan (once again) led 35-0. MSU went three and out, subsequently, then McCarthy threw his career-high fourth touchdown of the night midway through the third quarter, this time finding Barner for an 11-yard score. This time the touchdown stood for Barner, who deserved it. The transfer from Indiana posted career highs with 8 receptions for 99 yards in the blowout. With his team comfortably up 42-0, this was the final time McCarthy saw the field. He finished the night 21 of 27 for 287 passing yards and 4 touchdowns. 

Even in garbage time, however, Michigan accelerated. In a fitting moment, Ja’Den McBurrows, one victim of last year’s tunnel assault, recorded his first career interception in the fourth quarter, picking off MSU backup QB Sam Leavitt on a deflection. On the sideline, McBurrows' teammates swarmed him. "I know how he felt," Mike Sainristil said of McBurrows' pick, "I felt it too." Harbaugh needed few words to describe that moment. "What an amazing thing," he commented wryly. McBurrows also recorded three tackles in the game, including one tackle for a loss.

Then, up 42-0 in the dying seconds of the game, Harbaugh and/or Moore chose not to kneel out the clock. They didn't call for any passes, but they didn't call for any kneel-downs either. Instead, they allowed third string quarterback Alex Orji, a sophomore from Sachse, Texas, to run at will. In total, on the final drive of the game, Orji ran 5 times for 27 yards. With 8 seconds left, he snapped the ball, followed his blockers, and broke arm tackles en route to the endzone for a hard-fought score.  Orji's first touchdown of the season made it 48-0 Wolverines. Harbaugh stopped short of pulling a Woody Hayes, sending out the kicking unit. James Turner’s sixth extra point of the night made it 49-0, which proved the final.

It was a night to forget for Michigan State’s fanbase. Michigan shut out Michigan State in their own stadium, under the lights, and that wasn’t the worst of it for Sparty. The 49-0 rout was the worst home loss in history for the Spartans, and the largest margin of defeat to their in-state rivals since 1947, when the Wolverines defeated the Spartans 55-0. 

To make matters worse, national news outlets picked up on a side-story that made Michigan State look even more foolish post-game. In the BOX group chat, Paul had alluded to this, forwarding a screenshot of the Spartan Stadium videoboard taken just prior to kickoff. Curiously, the video board showed an image of Adolf Hitler, of all people. The operators of the scoreboard had apparently shown an image of the fascist as part of a pregame pop culture quiz, or something, but the reason hardly mattered. The fact that it happened at all underscored the ineptitude of the university. A university spokesman issued an apology for the Hitler imagery during the second half of the game, a moment that must have felt a lot like rock bottom. At a time when the university needed to lay low and let things blow over, they had found the stupidest way to draw attention to themselves. But not all was lost for the Spartan faithful: at least they had a sign-stealing accusation to hang their hat on for the rest of the season; they could root for Tony Pettiti and the NCAA!

"Leave no doubt," Harbaugh had urged his team before the battle in East Lansing. Hanging half a hundred in your rival's backyard leaves little doubt, indeed. When asked if his Spartans had reached their lowest point of the season, Harlon Barnett conceded "it might be," adding, "I thought it was last week." Losers of five straight, Michigan State traveled to Minnesota next, while #2 Michigan, winners of 20 consecutive conference games dating back to 2021, looked forward to a bye week before hosting Purdue on November 4.

Pac 12 After Dark delivered yet again; it didn't hurt that I was riding the high of our 49-0 curbstomping while watching. Without starting quarterback Cameron Rising, #14 Utah went into USC and defeated the #18 Trojans, 34-32, handing Lincoln Riley’s squad an early second defeat that jeopardized the Trojans' title hopes. Then even later in Seattle, the 1-5 Sun Devils of Arizona State put undefeated Washington on upset alert, one nobody had predicted when Saturday's games started. In a shocker of a halftime score, the Sun Devils led 7-3 over the Huskies. ASU handcuffed Michael Penix Jr. all game, forcing him into two interceptions and tarnishing his Heisman resume, but their offensive output – a single touchdown in the first half – proved too little. Washington scored 12 unanswered in the 4th quarter to escape with a 15-7 victory, keeping the dream alive in Seattle for another week at least.

I ended the night country dancing with Paul Cauthen: "It's a quarter to three, you know what I need/ It's a quarter to four, do we have anymore?"

MICHIGAN VS EVERYBODY: INDIANA

 INDIANA

Friday, October 13, 2023

Friday the 13th: I made a mental note, upon waking, to tread cautiously on this inauspicious date. Fittingly, it rained all day, a cold rain that foretold of winter. The soggy weather meant that my Pre-K class had to stay inside all day, making for a long day. I had to close at work; my last preschooler got picked up at 6:37 p.m., seven minutes after closing time, thank you very much. 

From St. Paul I drove west on I-94 to Minneapolis. At my apartment, I took a quick bath, made a cup of coffee, and changed before I headed back out for a night at Kara’s. From Hennepin I hopped back on I-94, taking it east across the river, and exited onto University Avenue near Greek Row. When I got to Kara’s townhouse, we placed an online takeout order with Stray Dog, a nearby restaurant that she recommended. Both of us ordered burgers and fries, and a few minutes later we started walking to Stray Dog to pick up our food, holding hands in the drizzly rain. After dinner, we watched Friday the 13th, the original, in part because it was Friday the 13th, after all, but also because Kara, to my consternation, told me she had never seen it. 

Around midnight I drove back to my apartment, crossing the Mississippi River for the fourth time in a day. The rain had finally ceased but the roads were wet and glossy. Back in my ground-floor apartment I turned on the television and found that the lowly Stanford Cardinal had come back from a 29-0 halftime deficit against Deion Sanders’ Buffaloes. After gaining only 115 yards in the first half, Stanford looked like a different team in the second half in all facets, prompting one to wonder what was said in the Stanford locker room. Taking advantage of Colorado’s weak secondary, the Cardinal scored four unanswered touchdowns in the third quarter – the second came on a 97-yard touchdown pass from Ashton Daniels to Elic Ayomanor, the third on a 60-yard pass between the same parties – to cut the lead to 3. Colorado answered with a touchdown of their own to start the fourth quarter, but Stanford swung right back. That cut the Colorado lead to 39-36 with five minutes left in the game. A wicked Colorado punt pinned Stanford at their own 1-yard line with just under three minutes to go, but Colorado’s defense, suddenly Swiss cheese, was unable to take advantage of it. Stanford drove 71 yards in 13 plays, setting up an opportunity for a last-second field goal to force overtime. Cardinal kicker Joshua Karty nailed it.

Both teams scored touchdowns in the first overtime frame: Shedeur Sanders threw his fifth TD pass of the night on the opening possession; Ashton Daniels, not to be outdone, threw his fourth of the night on the very next play, forcing double overtime. Then Shedeur Sanders, who had been brilliant all game, made the critical mistake in double OT, throwing an interception in the endzone. Sanders’ turnover meant Stanford needed only a field goal to win. The Cardinal refused to throw, at that point; Ashton Daniels ran the ball three times for a total of 12 yards before Stanford sent out the kicking team. Once again, Karty nailed it, sending the fans at Folsom home in a somber mood, one exacerbated by the fact that Coach Prime’s team had dropped three of its last four games after starting the season 3-0 (their schedule wouldn’t get any easier, either, as their next three opponents were all ranked in the top 25). What a game, what an upset. What a way to kick off the football weekend. 

Saturday, October 14, 2023

Having stayed up late to watch Stanford’s comeback victory, I slept in a bit Saturday morning. These days, that means like 8:30 or 9:00. FOX’s Big Noon Kickoff crew visited South Bend, Indiana, this week, to preview the Notre Dame – USC rivalry game. In a lengthy pregame segment, Matt Leinart and Brady Quinn, two of the hosts, reminisced about the infamous 2005 game they played in. That game culminated in a controversial last-second touchdown in which Reggie Bush physically pushed Leinart into the endzone for the game-winning score. While heroic, Bush’s assistance constituted an illegal act, a violation of Section 3, Article 2b of the NCAA rulebook. Referees, therefore, should have thrown a flag, negating the go-ahead score, but no laundry appeared, hence the controversial but unforgettable finish. Nicknamed the “Bush Push” game, it is widely considered one of the greatest games in college football history.

Despite FOX’s visit to South Bend, NBC actually had the broadcast rights for that game, and it didn’t start until 7:30. What followed Big Noon Kickoff instead was the Michigan versus Indiana game from the Big House, with Joel Klatt and Gus Johnson – two of my personal faves – calling the game for FOX. Ranked second, nationally – behind only Georgia – 6-0 Michigan took the field in its all-blue uniforms, with most players sporting knee-high yellow socks. This alternate look has grown on me a lot, especially after we wore them during the magical 2021 Ohio State game. Indiana, coming into the matchup with a lackluster 2-3 record (their two wins came at the expense of Indiana State and Akron, the latter requiring four overtimes), wore all-white uniforms with candy-apple red helmets. Michigan kicked off in a light rain, the thermometer hovering just below 50 degrees on an overcast day in Ann Arbor. Many of the 110,000 plus packed inside Michigan Stadium wore ponchos or light jackets.

Going back to 1988, Indiana had lost 27 of their last 28 meetings with Michigan, but they had frequently tested us during the Tom Allen era, winning outright in 2020. This year, Vegas listed Michigan as a massive, 33-point favorite, yet the first quarter suggested this one would be another tight one. The Hoosiers defense gave Michigan trouble early on, forcing three-and-outs on Michigan’s first two offensive possessions. In fact, Michigan’s net yardage after those first two drives amounted to -8 yards.

Indiana’s offense looked competent early, too. On their second possession, they drove the ball all the way to the Michigan 10-yard line before a false start penalty pushed them back, forcing a 3rd and 12. Subsequently, Hoosiers QB Tayven Jackson, a transfer from Tennessee, threw an errant ball towards the end zone; Mike Sainristil tipped the ball and Rod Moore picked it off, running 38 yards before being brought down by an offensive lineman at the 40-yard line. 

Moore’s interception should have shifted the momentum in Michigan’s favor, but it didn’t. Michigan’s second three-and-out to start the game forced them to punt it back to Indiana, who turned to backup QB Brendan Sorsby for its third possession. Indiana finished, this time. On 1st and 10 from the Michigan 44, Sorsby threw a wide receiver screen to Donovan McCulley, and McCulley then launched a deep ball to a wide open Jaylin Lucas, who hauled it in for a 44-yard touchdown. With 2:17 left in the opening quarter, Indiana took a shocking 7-0 lead, silencing the Michigan faithful and causing my blood pressure to rise. 

Yet the first quarter proved a fluke. Michigan thoroughly owned the remainder of the game, scoring touchdowns on 7 of their next 8 possessions. In a drive that ate up nearly six minutes of game clock, JJ McCarthy finally found a rhythm on Michigan’s next possession. He completed two passes to Colston Loveland for 13 yards each, one to Cornelius Johnson for 15, and another of 15 yards to Blake Corum, methodically moving Michigan into the redzone. From there, Sherrone Moore leaned heavily on his most reliable player, Blake Corum, who concluded the drive with a patented one-yard smash for the equalizer. 

As proved the case in the preceding weeks, Michigan’s defense tightened as the game progressed. They forced another punt on Indiana’s next possession, then JJ and the offense picked up right where they had left off, executing another imposing drive that saw Michigan march 87 yards in five and a half minutes. Faced with a fourth down and goal from the 2-yard line, Moore kept his offensive unit on the field. Indiana was probably expecting another run from Corum, and for precisely that reason Moore dialed up a pass play. The stout Wolverine offensive line gave JJ plenty of time to read through his progressions, and he eventually found a wide open Roman Wilson in the back of the endzone for an easy touchdown pass. Michigan regained the lead, 14-7, and the crowd started to roar back to life. 

Michigan’s defense promptly forced another three-and-out, the last thing Indiana’s tired defense needed. On the ensuing punt, Tyler Morris fielded the ball off of a bounce, split two defenders, and broke free for a 31-yard return that gave Michigan excellent field position, setting up JJ and co. at the Indiana 46 with just under two minutes remaining in the half. With precision Michigan chewed up most of that clock. Once again they pushed the ball to within a yard of the endzone, and once again Corum smashed it home from there. His second touchdown of the game gave Michigan a 21-7 halftime lead and more or less erased any anxiety I had built up in the course of the first quarter. I packed a bowl, put on my smoking jacket, and went out to the alley to power up.

The second half of the game followed the same script as the second quarter, with Michigan’s offense wearing down the opponent’s defense with long, grueling drives and the defense shutting the Hoosiers offense down. It took the Wolverines only two and a half minutes to open the scoring in the third quarter. This time McCarthy connected with an open Colston Loveland downfield for a 54-yard touchdown, putting the home team up 28-7. Indiana ran three plays for a net total of -13 yards on their next possession, promptly giving the ball back to a Michigan offense that was now firing on all cylinders. Indeed, within three minutes of game time Michigan had added another touchdown, this one a touchdown pass to Semaj Morgan. Indiana trailed 35-7.

That was pretty much how the rest of the game went. Indiana fumbled on their next possession, and the Michigan offense scored their sixth touchdown. Indiana turned the ball over on downs, and Michigan kicked a field goal. Tayven Jackson, reinserted as QB for the second half, threw his second interception, and Michigan answered with yet another touchdown, a touchdown pass from backup QB Jack Tuttle to Karmello English. Michigan scored on all five of its possessions in the half. Final score: 52-7. 

To me, a biased observer, JJ McCarthy looked just as impressive as both Michael Penix Jr. and Bo Nix, the two Heisman front runners who squared off directly after the Michigan game in the matchup of the day. Granted, I took a nap during the first half of the Washington – Oregon game, so I cannot claim to have watched both quarterbacks intently, but I woke up during the second half and watched the rest, including a dramatic finish. Nix and the Ducks overcame an 11-point second half deficit, storming back to take a 33-29 lead with 12 minutes remaining, but Oregon played with fire by going for it on 4th down and 3 at the Washington 47-yard line with only 1:38 left. Nix threw an incompletion on the 4th and 3 play, and Penix needed only two plays and 33 seconds to take advantage. In what might have been his Heisman moment, he threw a 33-yard pass to Ja’lynn Polk for a first down, then connected with Rome Odunze in the endzone, giving the Huskies a 36-33 lead and prompting mass frenzy at Husky Stadium, truly a beautiful stadium right on the water in Seattle. When Oregon missed a 43-yard field goal attempt as the clock expired, the purple and gold faithful stormed the field. Prince’s “Purple Rain” fittingly blasted from the loudspeakers. It looked like a special season at UW. 

“In my estimation,” Paul Cav wrote in the BOX House group chat, responding to questions about McCarthy’s standing in the race, “Penix leads in the Heisman race but won’t win come November.” I tended to agree with the first part of that statement, at least, especially after the nightcap games, Saturday night. In the big one, USC at Notre Dame, Caleb Williams flat out laid an egg. The reigning Heisman Trophy winner threw three interceptions in a blowout 48-20 loss to Notre Dame, a loss that put USC’s title hopes in serious jeopardy. 

A bonus game for us fiends, the Aztecs of San Diego State played at Hawaii at 11:00 p.m. ET. I found it streaming on YouTube and watched in bed until I drifted off to sleep.

MICHIGAN VS. EVERYBODY: MINNESOTA

 Monday, October 2, 2023

Despite my usual Monday off, the world has me feeling glum today. Feeling homesick, I yearn to be back in Michigan today. Three-day weekends do that to me, sometimes. On the bright side: two people said good morning to me as I left the apartment to walk to Hennepin Tobacco; Al visits this weekend for the Michigan game at Minnesota Saturday night; also, I wrote a page of chapter 19 this morning at Mueller Park, a positive sign for my mental health. To further combat the Monday blues, I walked to Lake of the Isles to read and write; near the pencil sculpture on the northeast side of the lake, a guy played Dylan’s “The Times They are A-Changin” on the guitar. I wondered if it was an omen. It certainly wasn't a bad sign, I figured.

Friday, October 7, 2023

True Autumn arrived today; my iPhone’s weather app read 45 degrees this morning, so I got my North Face fleece out for the first time before driving to work. Ms. Emily and I had a good day at school. Fridays are usually a little more chill than the rest of the week. After school, I went to pick up the party supplies for the weekend.

Al flew in from Grand Rapids this evening. He took an Uber from MSP and arrived at my apartment complex around 8. We hugged it out, then we both snorted a line of cocaine off the glossy black surface of my Bruce Springsteen songbook. After a couple more we walked to Walgreens to pick up some Gatorades and snacks. From there it was only a short walk to Lake of the Isles, a place I wanted Al to see, but when we got there I realized it’s not much to look at in the dark. 

Back at the apartment, we snorted some more lines and set up a bed for Al on the floor using my camping supplies, including my sleeping pad and sleeping bag. I suggested we watch the ESPN documentary Once Upon a Time in Anaheim. It examines the production of The Mighty Ducks, including the creative process of young and then-unknown writer Stephen Brill, and how the films’ success led to the Disney-owned NHL franchise in Anaheim. I found Brill’s writing insight valuable. One fact I learned from the documentary was that Brill named the legendary Gordon Bombay for the two types of gin he drank at the time, Gordon’s and Bombay. 

Next I asked Al if he’d watched Unrivaled yet. “Negative,” he answered. Aghast, I demanded we watch it immediately; it is must-watch material for any Red Wings fan -- for any hockey fan for that matter. Unrivaled: Red Wings vs. Avalanche, a special episode from ESPN’s E:60 series, documented the bloody history of the Red Wings – Avalanche rivalry that dominated the hockey universe in the late nineties and early aughts, focusing on the historic night of March 26, 1997, when Darren McCarty got revenge on Detroit's public enemy numero uno, Claude Lemieux. The night came to be known in Detroit as “Fight Night at the Joe.” The documentary starts with a surprise reunion between Lemieux and McCarty. They call themselves friends now, despite their vitriolic history, and the story is told from both their perspectives. It humanizes Lemieux in the process, and functions as a call for peace, of sorts, a reminder that hockey is only a game, after all. At the same time, it immortalizes that rivalry and that night; Al and I, like anyone who came of age watching those teams in the nineties, recalled it all with nostalgia as one of those truly special seasons in one's life. It was an era we'd been trying to recapture ever since.

Around three a.m., Al started dozing off. I opened the YouTube app via my Roku and put on the 2021 Michigan – Ohio State game, a certified classic. Watching it, I realized I had forgotten how dominant Hassan Haskins was in the game. In a Biakabatuka-like performance, the senior from Eureka, Missouri ran for 169 yards and 5 touchdowns, matching the record for most touchdowns by one player in the history of the rivalry. I professed, after that magical day of snow flurries in Ann Arbor, that Michigan should build a statue for Haskins to commemorate his performance. Another player who had a legendary performance that day was Aidan Hutchinson, a player I felt a personal kinship to as we both attended Dearborn Divine Child High School; the future Detroit Lion recorded three sacks on Buckeye QB C.J. Stroud, wreaking havoc all game and cementing his status as a Michigan legend. I recalled watching that game in Frank’s garage, crying tears of joy as I watched fans storm the field at Michigan Stadium in a moment of monumental catharsis for all of us persecuted Wolverines fans. Of course, this inspired me to watch the 2022 game afterward, the one when J.J. McCarthy delivered his own legendary performance. I fell asleep sometime during that one, probably close to five in the morning.

Saturday, October 8, 2023

I got four hours of sleep tops; Al didn’t get much more – the floor of my apartment couldn’t have been too comfortable, but I did warn him about the size of my apartment beforehand, hinting that he might want to reserve a hotel room instead but assuring him he was welcome to stay with me. He and I have certainly spent nights in worse situations. No matter. We had blow for breakfast. Al ordered DoorDash. I ordered a sausage and egg bagel; he got an omelet. We both drank coffee. 

In addition to the marching powder, we started the day lounging, with the TV tuned between FOX's Big Noon Kickoff and ESPN's College Gameday, the latter streamed illegally via YouTube. ESPN's Gameday crew appeared live from Columbus, Ohio, where 10,00 alumni and 90,000 truckers soon filed into the Horseshoe for a showdown with Taulia Tagovailoa and the Maryland Terrapins. I told Al I wanted to bet on the game, as I thought Maryland's high-powered offense would keep the game tight enough to cover the 14-point spread. 

Also at 11, the Red River Rivalry kicked off on ABC. We turned the channel briefly to that. Surprisingly, Oklahoma jumped out to a 7-0 lead over the third-ranked Texas Longhorns. We switched back to root against Ohio State. Maryland led for much of the game, but in the end, Taulia Tagovailoa made too many costly mistakes, including two interceptions and a boneheaded, egregious clock management gaffe to end the first half. First-year starter Riley McCord and the Buckeyes took a 20-17 lead in the fourth quarter before running away with it late. Maryland failed to even cover. Less predictably, on ABC, Oklahoma prevailed late over the Horns. Meanwhile Al and I showered, snorted some final lines, put on our jerseys, and prepared to head out to the Minnesota campus for tailgating. 

Around two we walked up to a liquor store at 27th and Hennepin. Al bought a 12-pack of Coors and a THC seltzer for me. From there we ordered an Uber and waited at a picnic table outside. The Uber drove us over the Mississippi River, up Greek Row, and into campus. "We were already blackout drunk by now," Al and I agreed, scoffing at frat bros still setting up orange mesh fencing on their lawns. Indeed, crowds looked scarce at all but one or two fraternity houses. The Uber driver let us out at a parking lot filled with burgundy and yellow tents, many from which long, wavy flag poles displayed Gopher colors in stripes, block Minnesota M's, even Twins flags. 

Our first destination was a tent tailgate within this parking lot where we met Al's brother, Nick, and his family. Many years ago, Nick bought us booze during our first months in college at Michigan; we used to walk to his house off campus and bring beer back to the dorms in our backpacks. I felt awkward, socially, and drank my THC seltzer in front of a big screen TV while Al tossed the football to his two nephews. Kistler and Joe, two older BOX guys from Nick's era, showed up buzzing from Adderall. When I told them what we had, their eyes lit up. We made a plan to meet up to snort some before the game, though I knew we never would. 

Next, we wandered a couple blocks north to another parking lot, one B-Russ (who had flown in from California for the weekend) called the "Raising Cane's Parking Lot." Following Al's phone, we realized we missed a turn and circled back. We found B-Russ and the old White Street gang – Mark Ausborn, John Gietzen, James Paulson, Big Asian Dave – drinking beers under a Minnesota tent that was attached to a black pickup truck. They huddled around a big screen TV, ostensibly cheering on the Minnesota Twins in their playoff matchup with Houston. Some hugs were exchanged upon our arrival, some double takes. With Justin Verlander on the hill, the Astros had taken an early lead on the Twins. B-Russ was animated, a little tipsy, as to be expected for a dad reconnected with the college crew and on the loose, free from domestic responsibility for a weekend. I knew he and Al were getting drunk when the conversation turned to such college traditions as "playing through," "Bill Nye the Science Guy," and "Poop Wars." "I don't think that game would be considered PC by today's standards," Paulson weighed in. With Al in his element, I felt slightly out of mine. 

An escape to the porta-potties, where I snorted a couple big bumps off a ten-dollar bill, loosened me up considerably. I started talking to everyone after that. The host of the tailgate couldn't have been kinder. He asked where I worked, and when I told him, he said his daughter attended one of our schools in Nebraska. His spread impressed, too, though we didn't eat much: Raising Cane's chicken (a Minnesota favorite), endless breadsticks, French fries, and an assortment of cookies. B-Russ and Al smoked stogies. I talked to John Gietzen, always my favorite of the White Street gang, who told me he still had Biff, his taxidermized Wolverine; we reminisced about the 2013 Michigan Basketball season, when we had post-grad season tickets with Chris Orr. I also chatted with Big Asian Dave, who recounted his experience as a contestant on Jeopardy! It was good to talk to B-Russ, of course, too. I hadn't seen him in probably a decade. 

As sunset approached temperatures plummeted. The wind made for a nippy feeling in the air, the first true hint of autumn. Al and I regretted not bringing jackets. In the seventh inning, the Twins belted back-to-back home runs to cut the lead to 5-4, prompting a collective roar from every tailgate tent in every surrounding parking lot. It seemed like a jolt of life. I stood in the line for the porta-potties for five minutes, then snorted the last of the cocaine off Al's ten-dollar bill. Now I was in my element, too.

A frantic final half hour leading up to kickoff ensued. Beers had to be finished, pounded. Food had to be boxed up and put away in coolers. Solo cups went in trash bags. The tent had to come down; stogies had to be put out. We walked toward the stadium five minutes before kickoff, Al and B-Russ in front of me so that Al's Obi Ezeh jersey formed the foreground of my view towards the huge gray block M scoreboard on the north side of Huntington Bank Stadium. The trees along the campus streets were still mostly green, with tinges of cornstalk yellow making the edges look frayed. The sky was overcast but powder blue behind the clouds. Straight ahead was the redbrick stadium, and inside the stadium fans appeared in blurred form, from a distance, splotches of burgundy and yellow. The view showed a perfect night for football, a perfect environment. 

Approaching from the endzone entrance outside the video board, we found long lines extending outside the stadium gates. Here some fans pounded mini liquor bottles or last beer cans and tossed them aside in the bushes. The stadium broadcaster's voice echoed out to us, in addition to the final notes of the Star-Spangled Banner. B-Russ checked his phone for any last-minute updates: Michigan won the coin toss and deferred. Sophomore quarterback Athan Kaliakmanis and the Gopher offense took the field. We were still standing in line and listening to the stadium broadcaster when, on the second play from scrimmage, Kaliakmanis dropped back to pass; Will Johnson, perhaps Michigan's best corner since Charles Woodson, picked him off and took it to the house for a pick six. Michigan fans in the lines – us included – jumped up and down in glee. The Wolverines led 7-0 before we ever entered the stadium. 

Shivering in line, we fortunately found the stadium warmer – not only in the interior concourse and toasty restrooms but in the bleachers, too, as the brick exterior of the stadium blocked the wind. Al and I parted with B-Russ and Gietzen, who went to find their own seats. At a concession stand on the upper concourse, Al bought two beers for himself and a coffee for me, then we found our section and made our way up to our seats. Michigan wore its all-white uniforms. Minny wore all burgundy, with chrome gold Ms on their helmets. The field was kelly green, bookended by burgundy endzones with yellow print, the sky periwinkle at dusk. In the seats to our right we found one very inebriated middle-aged Michigan fan, who went on to sleep through the majority of the game to his friends' chagrin. To our left was a family of mixed allegiances, with a Gopher dad, a hot Wolverine mom, and a 10-year-old of ambiguous gender with shoulder-length blonde hair, the offspring wearing a combination of Michigan and Minnesota gear. When Al spilled some beer and started issuing profanities, I worried about the innocence of this 10-year old to my left, but the family appeared seasoned stadium-goers, accustomed to the antics of over-intoxicated fans, steadfastly attuned to the game. 

Despite the early pick-six, Gopher fans appeared rowdy and boisterous – eager to row the boat – and they continued to appear so even after all cause for enthusiasm and optimism ceased to exist. Al and I both commented on this phenomenon, perhaps a variant on the Minnesota-nice stereotype, wherein they maintained a perpetual, at times sarcastic optimism in regard to their Gophers, the Big Ten's lovable losers. They were in year seven of the P.J. Fleck era, still middling at best, twenty-point dogs at home against Michigan. Yet they refused to let it damper their collective mindset. 

Cause for optimism among the home crowd did not cease to exist all at once but rather slowly, as was the case for most of Michigan's 2023 opponents per its boa-constrictor modus operandi. In fact, Minnesota managed some nice drives early, mostly running the ball with success, and despite Kaliakmanis gifting Will Johnson a touchdown, they only trailed 10-3 at the end of the first quarter. 

Michigan got its first offensive score at the ten-minute mark of the second quarter. Blake Corum had busted loose for a 40-yard run earlier in the drive. Then Donovan Edwards carried the ball five yards to the 1-yard line. From there, Blake the Great smashed it home, giving Michigan a fourteen-point advantage. After the defense forced a three and out, JJ got going on the next offensive possession, connecting with Cornelius Johnson for a 49-yard strike before scrambling for a five- yard touchdown on the very next play. James Turner’s extra point made it 24-3. That would have been the halftime score if not for Minnesota’s play of the game, which came on the next series. Minnesota picked up two fourth down conversions on the drive and moved the ball into Michigan territory as time ticked away in the first half. Then, on 2nd and 10 from the Michigan 35, with only thirteen seconds left in the half, Kaliakmanis dropped back and delivered a beautiful spiral on a fade route to wide receiver Daniel Jackson in the endzone. In stride, Jackson hauled it in for the Gophers touchdown. Huntington Bank Stadium erupted. Finally, they had something real to cheer about. They still trailed by 14 at half. 

Gopher fans wished us good luck on the concourse and in the bathrooms during halftime. “These fans are friendlier than any I’ve encountered before,” Al and I agreed. 

Tightening its grip, the Michigan boa constrictor sucked the life from the Gophers in the second half. McCarthy commenced the scoring midway through the third quarter when he scrambled seven yards for his second rushing touchdown of the night. Capping a 9-play, 78-yard drive – a drive that included completions of 17 and 34 yards, respectively, to Roman Wilson – this one put us ahead 31-10. JJ wasn’t done yet. On the next possession he threw a 24-yard touchdown pass to Colston Loveland. Trailing 38-10, at that point, Athan Kaliakmanis subsequently threw his second interception. It was another costly one: Keon Sabb took it 28 yards to the house for Michigan’s second pick-six of the night. Cue the Minnesota student exodus; the Gophers trailed 45-10. 

Half the stadium had emptied by the time Al and I decided to head out in the fourth. Only three or four minutes of actual game clock remained. It was chilly. If we thought we were getting a head start on traffic, we had another thing coming. Traffic was completely stalled in Minneapolis. An Uber picked us up about a half mile from the stadium, but we waited upwards of 20 minutes in the backseat just to merge onto the highway. The music our driver played caused a double take. “Is this a real song?” we wondered. “Is he singing ‘fuck you back to sleep girl?!’ The song sounded catchy, actually, in a punch-drunk way, but then we googled the lyrics and realized Chris Brown authored the song.

“Aren’t we responsible, now,” Al mused when we finally returned to my apartment, “saving some blow for the nightcap.” He snorted a slug of a line from my Bruce Springsteen book and divvied one out for me with a plastic card. “The cocaine did hit the spot,” I agreed. We ordered wings and turned on the late-night game from the West coast, USC versus Arizona. Stunningly, Arizona bottle-rocketed to a 17-0 lead, but Caleb Williams and the Trojan offense answered with two touchdowns of their own. Al called Austin to see how her birthday celebration went. He put her on speaker phone. “Happy birthday Austin!” I bellowed. She sounded very intoxicated. 

Al took a gummy in hopes it would put him to sleep. I stayed up and finished the powder. When I woke up Sunday afternoon, Al was still laying on the floor, watching NFL coverage at a low volume. He went to visit his brother and nephew before his flight left Sunday night. Grateful for my Monday off, I savored Sunday Night Football, which pitted NFC contenders Dallas and San Francisco against one another.

R.I.P. Obi Ezeh (1988-2024)

MICHIGAN VS. EVERYBODY: NEBRASKA

 @ NEBRASKA

Saturday, September 30, 2023

Crinkly leaves blew on the sidewalk, making scraping sounds that were audible in the silence of pre-coffee Uptown on a Saturday morning. The weather app on my phone said it was already 82 degrees, pretty hot for early morning and pretty hot for the last day of September. Despite the Indian Summer weather, however, the grass at Mueller Park remained wet from heavy rains that fell in the preceding week, forcing me to forego my usual spot on the grassy hill in favor of a picnic table. I set my canvas tote bag down on the bench of the table and read a few pages of Misery by Stephen King, smoking a pair of Marlboro Lights while I did so. I was still unwinding from a particularly stressful Friday at work. Actually, it had been more than stressful. In the middle of the school day, just after lunch, a teacher from another room came into my classroom to inform my coteacher and me that a rogue tow truck driver was towing vehicles from the parking lot the school shared with the bank next door. I hadn't parked in one of the bank's designated spots, so I wasn't worried; as a matter of fact I had parked in the same unmarked spot every day for more than a year. Then the teacher came back to report that the towing predator had towed away my coteacher's vehicle and was in the process of towing mine. As I discovered later, towing from these spots constituted a violation of Minnesota state law, which requires a tow company to give 24 hours before towing cars from private but deceptively unmarked parking spots. I burst into the parking lot when the bastard had my car halfway up on the tow truck. I confronted him right there, pointing out his own stupid logic: "look at the private parking spots. They have signs. This one doesn't." 

"You're a teacher?" he smirked. "You're an angry teacher. I'd hate to have you as mine." That ticked me off. "And?" I replied. "You drive a tow truck for a living." "I've been doing this for 40 years," he bragged, as if that were some sort of accomplishment. "Doing a lot of good for the community, huh?" I responded sarcastically. He refused to let my car down, knowing he had a payday in it. Sweet capitalism. Even though the owner of my school paid for the towing expenses, the confrontation left me angry and flustered, so much so that I found our towing hero's name and called him up that night to ask if he followed Minnesota state laws in the course of his job. "I'm looking at the statute right now," I told him, "I wonder what the authorities would think of your practices." All things considered, I was looking forward to a full day of college football, knowing it'd help me push the incident and the negative emotions conjured by it out of mind.

Around ten I went back to my apartment to catch the last hour of Fox's Big Noon Kickoff Preview Show. Urban Meyer, Brady Quinn, Matt Leinart, and gang broadcasted live from Boulder, Colorado for the second time in three weeks. This time, the Sanders family took on eighth-ranked USC in a Pac-12 clash, one that had lost some of its luster after Oregon routed Colorado the week prior. Were the Buffaloes pretenders? That appeared to be the case early on; Caleb Williams and the Trojans raced to a blitzkrieg 21-0 start, silencing the Folsom crowd. Williams looked like the frontrunner to repeat as Heisman Trophy winner; he threw the ball all over the field against the Buffaloes' depleted secondary, putting up video game numbers. In total, he threw for 403 yards and 6 touchdowns on the day. Neither team played much defense for that matter. At the half, USC led 34-14. 

Third quarter action saw USC pad their lead with another couple of touchdowns. Their team down 48-21, at that point, many of the Colorado fans started making their way to the exits at Folsom. Yet Shedeur Sanders fought on, to his credit, demonstrating his mettle by leading a furious fourth quarter rally and nearly pulling off the unbelievable. He threw for three touchdown passes in the final sixteen minutes of the game, all of them unanswered scores. The third of those, a sixteen-yard pass to Jimmy Horn Jr., made it a one-score game with USC leading 48-41, but only 1:45 remained in the game. With no timeouts left, Coach Prime had no choice but to try for an onside kick. He sent out kicker Jace Feely, the son of legendary Michigan kicker Jay Feely, to do the job, but Colorado's magic ran dry then and there. USC fielded it clean, then ran out the clock to avoid an epic collapse. Lincoln Riley's Trojans stayed unbeaten through five games, putting them squarely in contention for the College Football Playoff. Colorado, on the other hand, suddenly fell to 3-2 on the season despite Shedeur Sanders' heroics.

Elsewhere in early games around the college football universe, Kentucky licked #22 Florida 33-14 at Kroger Field in Lexington. Not far outside Chicago, a scandal-tarnished Northwestern team looked to play spoiler when they hosted #13 Penn State at Ryan Field. To their credit, the Wildcats fought the Nittany Lions to a stalemate in the first half; the teams went into the locker rooms at half tied 10-10, a shocker of a halftime score that necessitated changing the channel to check the game out. Naturally. I pulled for Northwestern, the underdog, but Penn State imposed their will in the second half. The Nittany Lions outscored the Wildcats 31-3 after halftime, giving James Franklin's squad a 41-13 victory that kept them undefeated through their first five contests. Penn State hosted U-Mass next in a tune-up game before they traveled to Columbus for a showdown with Ohio State, one ripe with Big Ten title ramifications for both schools.

Michigan played next in the 2:30 CT time slot, having traveled to Nebraska for their first road test of the season. Forever Michigan's enemy for taking a claim of the 1997 National Championship, Nebraska entered the contest with a middling record of 2-2, having lost back-to-back games to Minnesota (on a last-second field goal) and Colorado to start the season, Nebraska's first under Matt Ruhle after the school parted ways with Scott Frost in 2022. Ruhle was a good get for the Huskers, who have been mired in mediocrity pretty much since their glory years under Tom Osborn, but the back-to-back losses in Ruhle's first two games at the helm demonstrated that the rebuild would take time. Vegas listed Michigan as a 17-point favorite on the road. 

At kickoff, the broadcast team reported, the temperature in Lincoln, Nebraska was 93 degrees. That qualified as the hottest starting temperature for a game at Nebraska's Memorial Stadium since 1985, when Florida State visited in early September of that year for a battle of eighties powerhouses. The heat only worsened throughout the day, with temperatures reaching 96 by mid-game.

Michigan started with possession of the ball, and JJ McCarthy wasted no time marching his offense down the field. The drive lasted over five minutes, covering 75 yards in 11 plays. JJ capped the drive with a 29-yard touchdown pass to Roman Wilson, who made a circus catch sure to be added to the season highlight reel. Wilson, standing near the back of the endzone, reached over the head and shoulders of Huskers defender Isaac Gifford to catch the slightly underthrown pass, pinning the ball against Gifford's back to maintain possession as he fell out of bounds. Even the referee seemed mesmerized, incredulous, delaying a call for several seconds before putting his hands in the air to signal touchdown. The roar of a sellout crowd of 87,000 plus (Nebraska's 392nd straight sellout) quieted to a murmur as James Turner booted the extra point, giving the visitors an early 7-0 advantage. 

Nebraska's response fell flat, and fast. Their opening possession started from the 25-yard line after Tommy Doman kicked the ball into the endzone for a touchback, but it didn't last long. On first and 10, Huskers running back Anthony Grant took a handoff and ran for one yard. Then on 2nd and 9, quarterback Heinrich Haarberg, who started the season as a tight end but switched back to quarterback after QB1 Jeff Sims suffered an injury in the loss to Colorado, attempted his first pass of the game. Braiden McGregor, Michigan's 6'6 end from Port Huron, put up his right fist and deflected the pass, batting it up. Tracking the ball's trajectory was big boy Kenneth Grant, a 339-pounder from Indiana, who cradled the ball as it fell into his paws for his first career interception. 

Grant's interception gave Michigan the ball at Nebraska's 29-yard line. They capitalized quickly, needing only three plays for the score. Corum ran on the first play for 4 yards, then on the second for 5 yards. On 3rd and 1, JJ handed the ball to Kalel Mullings, who broke free for his first touchdown of the season, a 20-yard scamper that put the Wolverines ahead 14-0. 

Nebraska put together a nice little drive with their second possession, pushing the ball into the red zone before Jesse Minter's defense tightened and forced a 4th down and 1 at the 12. Ruhle, the first-year coach looking for a statement win, rolled the dice, calling for a quarterback sneak a la the Philadelphia Eagles' "tush-push." It failed. Michigan's defensive front stuffed Haarberg, forcing a turnover on downs; at that point, it was still the first quarter, but the turnover on downs felt like a death knell for the Huskers' hopes of making it a competitive game. 

By halftime, Michigan had scored touchdowns on 4 of its 5 possessions (JJ scored the team's third touchdown on a 21-yard quarterback scamper, then connected with Wilson again with only 23 seconds left in the first half for the team's fourth TD). Accounting for three of those four touchdowns, McCarthy looked as sharp as he had all season, slinging the ball with zip and accuracy. The Wolverines led 28-0 going into the locker rooms. The deficit and the sweltering heat convinced many Huskers fans to head for the exits early, such that by the time the second half started, Memorial Stadium appeared half-empty. Wake them up when volleyball season starts, I guess.

That 28-point halftime lead felt so comfortable that Mom, Dad, Kate, and Jim Racine took the boat out on Little Crooked Lake; via text, I received a picture of them seated on the pontoon boat with a caption that said "Go Blue! Halftime score calls for a boat ride." They looked great. It made me miss them dearly. I utilized the break at half to walk back to the park to read some more of Misery and smoke another heater.

Nonetheless Nebraska refused to quit. Getting the ball to start the half, the Cornhuskers kicked off the third quarter with their biggest offensive play of the game theretofore, a 56-yard pass from Haarberg to Marcus Washington that gave them a first and ten at the Michigan 19. It gave the loyal fans remaining in attendance at Memorial Stadium something to cheer for, at least, but it proved fruitless ultimately. Nebraska's offense sputtered in the red zone. Then Braiden McGregor recorded a big sack of Haarberg on 3rd down and 7, forcing a field goal attempt on 4th and 14 that the Nebraska kicker proceeded to shank. McCarthy then finished his day by leading the offense on another patented Michigan drive that ate up a big chunk of the clock and wore down the opposing defense; this one chewed up nearly six minutes, covering 78 yards in 11 plays. This time, Blake Corum finished the drive, hammering it home from the one-yard line to keep his touchdown-per-game streak alive. 

Backups started easing into the game for the Wolverines with the score out of reach. Jack Tuttle replaced McCarthy at quarterback midway through the third, leading an impressive drive of his own that resulted in a 30-yard field goal. That pushed the lead to 38. At this point, I briefly switched channels to check in on the Georgia versus Auburn game, which I'd read was 17-10 Auburn, this a major upset alert. By the time I switched channels, though, the mighty Bulldogs had reclaimed the lead 20-17. I switched back to FOX to find a quarterback named Jayden Denegal commanding the Michigan offense. Denegal is a black quarterback from California who wore Harbaugh's old number 4 jersey, but other than that I knew little about him. Apparently, he can throw laser beams, though. He demonstrated as much on his only passing attempt of the game, a frozen rope to Peyton O'Leary in the endzone for Michigan's sixth touchdown of the game. 

Following O'Leary's touchdown reception, Michigan led 45-0 with only four minutes left. Their flirtation with a shutout ended when Joshua Fleeks broke free for a 74-yard touchdown run against Michigan's backups, but such trivial accomplishments mattered not a bit to Michigan's players and coaches, who had larger goals in mind. The 45-7 thrashing of Nebraska constituted business as usual for Team 144. Next on the schedule was a night game in my neck of the woods, a clash in Minneapolis for the Little Brown Jug. I'd been looking forward to that one for some time, as Al had plane tickets booked to come visit for the game. 

Saturday's evening slate of games provided more exhilaration. Nearing sundown, sixty-six thousand liquored-up Southerners stumbled from The Grove to Vaught-Hemingway Stadium in Oxford, Mississippi, where they packed the seats to cheer on Lane Kiffin and the 4-1 Rebels against 3-1 LSU. The Bayou Tigers took a two-score lead with only eight minutes left in the game, going up 49-40 on a 34-yard touchdown pass from Jayden Daniels to Brian Thomas Jr. (Daniels' fifth touchdown of the night), but in a game that saw little defense, Ole Miss clawed back. Quarterback Jaxson Dart, who accounted for 5 TD's of his own, led the Rebels on two touchdown drives in the final eight minutes for a comeback victory. The overdressed drunks stormed the field when time expired, sending Brian Kelly and his LSU Tigers back to Louisiana on a hot seat. 

ESPN's College Gameday visited Durham, North Carolina for a showdown between Duke and Notre Dame under the lights. Notre Dame squandered a thirteen-point halftime lead -- Duke took a 14-13 lead in the fourth quarter -- before QB Sam Hartman led the Irish 95 yards down the field in the final minute. Audric Estime scored the winning touchdown for the Fighting Irish.

In the Big Ten, Michigan State gave Iowa a dogfight at Kinnick Stadium, making me wonder how in the world Hawkeyes fans tolerate such mediocrity year after year. Former Michigan quarterback Cade MacNamara injured his leg in the first half and exited the field on a cart, granted, but I expected Iowa to roll a decimated program at home with or without a QB1. That just wasn't the case. Iowa's offense looked anemic. Sparty actually led 16-13 in the third quarter before Iowa regained their composure, scoring 13 unanswered points in the fourth for a 26-16 victory. 

I went to bed by 10:30, Saturday night. Early Sunday morning, Jacksonville and Atlanta squared off at London's Wembley Stadium. ESPN+ carried two broadcast options, the first being your standard NFL broadcast. The second, produced by Disney+, was a "kid's" version of the game, with live action animated gameplay taking place on the floor of Andy from Toy Story's bedroom. The first such I of its kind, I found the Toy Story broadcast entertaining, at least in small doses. It was tailored for kids, obviously, but I found it also worked for adults who may or may not have had two THC gummies for breakfast. When that game ended, I packed a sandwhich lunch and set off on foot for Lake of the Isles, where I read and worked on some writing while listening to the Vikings game on my little portable radio.

Michigan vs. Everybody: RUTGERS

 RUTGERS

Saturday, September 23, 2023

MPLS – Thunderstorms rolled in this afternoon, giving me an excuse to stay inside and watch college football all day guilt-free, in bliss. The slate of games for college football’s fourth week looked to be the biggest Saturday yet; matchups included #4 Florida State at Clemson, #6 Ohio State against #9 Notre Dame, #19 Colorado at #10 Oregon in the Buffs’ first real test, #15 Ole Miss at #13 Alabama (Kiffin v. Saban), and #14 Oregon State at #21 Washington State. The slate started, of course, with #2 Michigan hosting Rutgers at 11 a.m. (‘Sota time). Back on the sidelines for the maize and blue was our head coach, who returned from a three-game suspension in time for Michigan’s first Big Ten game. 

Not long ago Rutgers represented a genuine challenge for the Wolverines. Most notable in their recent series history is the game in Piscataway from the Covid-shortened 2020 season, a game in which Rutgers led 17-7 at half before Michigan rallied and forced overtime. Even then, it took three overtimes for Harbaugh’s squad to prevail. That victory was one of only two the Wolverines notched during that failed season, one after which many clamored for Harbaugh's head while others, having lost faith, hedged on the issue. Harbaugh returned to lead the Wolverines to a Big Ten Championship the following season, but we still struggled to put away Rutgers. In that one, Cade McNamara and Michigan’s offense looked lackluster. They narrowly escaped with a 20-13 victory despite getting outscored 10-0 in the second half. 

On a personal level, such recent memories contributed to a tempered confidence level going into the 2023 contest against Rutgers. So did the game’s first drive, which ended after only three plays in a touchdown for the Knights. On third down, Rutgers quarterback Gavin Wimsatt threw a spiral over the middle to Christian Dremel. Michigan’s secondary had allowed Dremel to get behind them, and the result was that they never touched him after he caught the ball. Dremel went 69 yards to the house. It took Rutgers only one minute to take the lead.

Didn't Michigan's defense start slow last week, too, I wondered? Rutgers’ fast start felt less like a fluke, however, after JJ and the Michigan offense answered with a three-and-out. Corum ran for five on first down, JJ misfired on second, and then the Knights sacked McCarthy on third down. Oh dear. Tommy Doman, a Junior from West Bloomfield, Michigan, punted the ball back to the Knights.

Fortunately that was the extent of today’s panic. Aided by two flags that went against the Rutgers offense, Michigan's defense forced a three-and-out on the next possession. Then, despite a 75-yard whale of a punt that pinned them inside their own ten-yard line, Michigan’s offense got back on track with its second drive. After a 33-yard completion to Donovan Edwards pushed the drive into Rutgers territory, Sherrone Moore dug into his bag of tricks, calling for a flea flicker. JJ handed the ball to Corum, Corum flipped it to Edwards, and Edwards pitched it back to McCarthy; McCarthy then threw a dime down the sideline to Colston Loveland, who nearly scored, going 35-yards before being brought down at the Rutgers 2-yard line. From there, Blake handled things, smashing it in for his first of two touchdowns on the day. 

Tied 7-7, the game settled down thereafter – Michigan’s defense tightened following Rutgers’ opening-drive touchdown, holding the Knights to only 182 yards the rest of the game. Neither side scored until late in the second half, when Michigan got its second TD with five minutes left on the clock. That drive saw JJ lead the offense 79 yards in 11 plays; it culminated in an 18-yard touchdown pass to Semaj Morgan, the outspoken freshman who also hails from West Bloomfield. 

24-point favorites in Vegas, Michigan led only 14-7 at half, leaving a bitter taste. To make up for it they turned on the burners in the third quarter. Michigan got the ball to open the half and executed its boa-constrictor modus operandi with a 14-play drive that ate up nearly eight minutes of game clock. After McCarthy took a sack on a third and eight at the Rutgers 21-yard line, Harbaugh called for his field goal team. A senior from Saline, James Turner nailed the 46-yarder, putting to rest any notion of a Jake Moody hangover and pushing the home team's lead to 10.

The ensuing Rutger’s possession felt like the nail in the coffin. It started well enough. The Knights’ offense drove 48 yards to the Michigan 27-yard line before the Michigan defense forced a fourth and two. Down only 10, Rutgers head coach Greg Schiano chose to roll the dice by going for it on 4th down, a decision that backfired. Gavin Wimsett attempted a screen pass, but Mike Sainristil jumped the route, picking it off before he found open grass and took the interception 71-yards to the house for a dagger of a touchdown. Sainristil donned the turnover buffs on the sideline and Michigan pulled ahead 24-7. Corum scored his second touchdown of the game early in the fourth quarter, giving Michigan a 31-7 lead that proved the final score. The 4-0 Wolverines travel to Nebraska next weekend for their first road game of the season.

Meanwhile Bo Nix and the Oregon Ducks had started tearing apart Cinderella’s gown. The Ducks steamrolled Coach Prime’s heretofore undefeated Colorado Buffaloes, racing to a 36-0 lead by halftime. Oregon looked better than Michigan, hands down. That halftime score was a statement. It indicated that Oregon was a legitimate national championship contender, but it also provided a dose of humility for the Buffaloes, previously the darlings of the college football season. The blowout diminished the value of the 2:30 slate of games, which saw few competitive matchups. On the road in East Lansing, Taulia Tagavailoa and the Maryland Terrapins housed Michigan State, whose season appeared lost already following the recent suspension and imminent firing of head coach Mel Tucker. Other afternoon results included Alabama defeating Ole Miss in a game that saw Jalen Milroe reinstated as the Tide QB and Utah beating UCLA in a 14-7 snoozer. 

Saturday night featured the day’s marquee matchup, Ohio State at Notre Dame in the first top-ten showdown of the year. Iowa also went on the road to Happy Valley, but most expected Penn State, 14-point favorites in the game, to remain undefeated. Indeed, the Nittany Lions smothered Cade McNamara and the Hawkeyes 31-zilch in front of a white-out crowd. Iowa's offense looked putrid.

At Touchdown Jesus Stadium in South Bend, the Irish trailed the Buckeyes 3-0 at halftime when Kara, a Tinder match, made an inquiry about coming over. What the hell, I said, come on over, but give me some time to clean up a bit. While I cleaned Ohio State defeated Notre Dame in wild fashion. Up 14-10, Notre Dame punted to Ohio State with only 86 seconds left on the clock. Kyle McCord, the first-year starter for OSU, utilized his talented cast of receivers to march the Buckeyes down the field, setting up a 1st and goal from the 1-yard line with only seven seconds left. Two incompletions set up a 3rd and goal with only a second on the clock. In a coaching gaffe, Notre Dame fielded only 10 players for the last play of the game, which saw Chip Trayanum run it in for the game-winning score. What a big win for Ryan Day and the Nuts.

Kara arrived as Pac-12 After Dark started, featuring reigning-Heisman winner Caleb Williams and USC v. Arizona State. She was a fourth grade teacher, and that gave us plenty to talk about. I enjoyed the night with her. In fact, I kind of liked her. I told her I hoped I’d get to see her again. It rained and stormed all night.

As ever, Sunday morning found me alone. I watched Cujo while drinking coffee in continuation of a week-long Stephen King marathon.  I watched Graveyard Shift, Silver Bullet, and Thinner earlier in the week, commencing my tradition of watching horror movies throughout October a little early this year. In my book, Edgar Allan Poe's despondence ("it was night in the lonesome October/ of my most immemorial year") produced the poem "Ulalume," in which the narrator stumbles upon the mausoleum of his dead lover "in the ghoul-haunted woodland of Weir."

Michigan vs. Everybody: Bowling Green

 BOWLING GREEN

Friday, September 15, 2023 -- Millwood Village, Westland, MI

Through scattered, dime-sized slits in the tree canopy, collonades of sunlight beam down upon the faded wooden deck at my parent’s house. I love this spot. It’s even quieter than I remember on this carefree Friday afternoon. Hidden above the brilliant green canopy is a partly cloudy, cornflower blue sky across which big fat animal clouds move slowly, if at all. Gus, just back from a walk with Dad, wanders out to the deck from the opened screen door. He sniffs the air, licks his butt, then, like an overly-dependent toddler, retreats inside to look for Mom, who is taking a quick nap. Some chipmunk cousins dash in and out of the late Mr. Reshke's woodpile in the backyard next door. Good old Mr. Reschke. A small cross memorializes him near the treeline; seeing it, I remember the cowboy he was at heart and wonder how many times he must have held his tongue while we used his yard as an extension of our backyard football field sans permission. Unlike other neighbors – some who, in their limitless suburban boredom, made it their life’s mission to tear down our fort, going so far as to take it up with the board members of the subdivision – Mr. Reschke never complained; he just smiled, said hello, smoked his cigarettes, carved his woodwork sculptures, and watched our play with a firm commitment to letting kids be kids. From a single garden pole in our backyard hang three large buckets of flowers. Each of these flower buckets contains 60-70 tightly bundled flowers. One holds purple flowers; one pale yellow flowers; and the lowest on the pole holds flowers of a a more vibrant yellow color with brown fringes, such that it looked like they belonged at at a Wyoming Cowboys football game on senior night. Shouts and calls of high school athletes echo from the Lutheran High School's athletic grounds to the east, an expansive field separated from Millwood by a narrow strip of woods and nothing more, prompting me to wonder if there might be a football game tonight. Homecoming game? Dad and I used to walk to it every year when I was little, drawn by the portable flood lights they brought in just for that one night game a year.  

My mug of Wild Mountain Blueberry coffee sits on a glass table next to a green bottle of Off spray and a Citronella Plant. I rock in my deck chair, gazing out to the precise spot in the woods where the Millwood boys and I built "the fort." Only a few of the leaves on the maples have started shading red -- a pinkish kind of candy-apple red. I actually walk out to the edge of the woods, using a little stepping stone path Mom set out, wondering if I might rediscover the promise of the 1990's by crossing the threshold into the woods. About ten feet in, I drag my shoe over some dead leaves and uncover some old stones I'm sure are relics from the fort; we treasured those stones, as well as all the other junk we kept hidden in the fort, a cache that included hockey cards, a scroll of wheatgrass, a skunk's skull, an arrowhead, pieces of lead and metal unearthed from the soil, and a sister's bracelet that we deemed spoils of war. It's good to be home, good for the soul. 

I landed here in Detroit just about 11:40 a.m. EST, then arrived at my parents' house by 12:30. Had to wake up at 6:15 this morning. It rained in Minneapolis as I drove to the airport, a drizzly morning apt for the hangover of a Thursday Night Football Vikings defeat, this one a 6-point loss to the Philadelphia Eagles. The local sports radio hosts on the early morning shift bemoaned the Vikings' 0-2 start to the season and pontificated that the lucky bounces from last season have become this season's unlucky ones pursuant to the law of averages. Most national pundits predicted as much in the preseason, in fact, but it feels like Vikings fans refused to buy into that narrative, resulting in this city-wide chagrin. 

Never drive during rush hour if you can avoid it. That's a personal mantra. I waited until traditional rush hour faded, say 6:30ish, to drive to Frank's for the traditional cousin visit I make upon returning to Michigan. From Westland, it's a thirty-minute drive to the countryside of Wolverine Lake. I let myself in through the garage and stumbled upon Ainsley watching Bluey and playing solo in her little fenced-in play space, basketball hoop and ball pit included. Apparently Frank failed to give Mariah the memo because she jumped when she saw me in the living room. The two of us shared a joint in the garage shortly thereafter, then Frank set me up with my frisbee of adderall powder. I started right in on the pile and fired up the Nintendo 64 in Frank's office (my guest room) for a game of Ken Griffey Jr. Baseball. Frank and I have a season going with the Seattle Mariners, who are currently sitting at 59-0 in the standings; Griffey leads the league with 40 dingers. Setting perhaps my all-time record(?), I scored 72 runs total in the game, my most in a long time at the very least. Then I drove back home to my parents' house around midnight. Stayed up late combing through old Northville Observer records for notes on escapees from the Northville Regional Psychiatric Hospital -- research for my second novel. At one point in the 80's, Northville Regional Psychiatric Hospital averaged two escapes per day. This resulted in many terrified locals reporting disturbing encounters with frothy-mouthed figures in white gowns. 

Saturday, September 16, 2023 -- Grand Rapids, MI, The Loft at Luna

Though I barely slept, I went downstairs to the kitchen around 8:00 a.m. to make coffee and catch College Football Gameday on ESPN. The Gameday crew broadcast live from Boulder, Colorado one week after FOX's Big Noon Kickoff Crew hosted their show there, pushing Coach Prime-fueled Colorado Buffalo mania to its zenith. Mom and I watched for a bit before she left to make a trip to Meijer for chili ingredients. She makes chili every Michigan game day, and it felt good to be home and experience that familiar process. Dad slept in. I finally showered around noon, packed my bag for Grand Rapids, where I had to be at Al's wedding Saturday evening, and got on the road by 1:15. Michigan State Football hosted the Huskies of Washington at 5:00, so I hit quite a bit of traffic around Lansing, but it wasn't a terrible drive. 

Arrived at Al and Austin's empty house around 3:30 in the afternoon, which left me only an hour to get ready for the wedding. Al left me a key in the mailbox. Being there brought back fond memories of bonfires, Yahtzee, social gatherings, and sleepovers. Much has changed since I moved to Grand Rapids three years ago this very month, including my state of residence. Initially, I had moved there to be close to Al, whom I met freshman year of college when we lived directly across the hall from each other in Mary Markley. He'd recently returned to Grand Rapids, his hometown, from a stint abroad in Africa, and I was recently single, thinking we’d be starting fresh together. Also, I was restless as always. My move was ill-timed, however, for Al met the bride-to-be right around the same time. The possibility of living with Al turned into Al moving in with Austin. It made me feel like the last outlaw from college but in a somber way. Reflecting on all this, I dressed in the guest bedroom, putting on my navy slacks, suede shoes, white button-down shirt sans tie, and a black sports coat. I left at 4:30, but downtown Grand Rapids was packed for one or more events -- one appeared to be an out-of-season Griffins game? -- causing me considerable distress as I tried to find parking. 

In truth, I felt nervous. I hadn't seen most of the BOX guys, my roommates from college, in several years, some not since I had quit drinking. What if I was the only one who'd aged? Maybe they had all stayed really tight while I was quitting drinking, embracing hermitude, chasing Lake Superior sunsets, and turning westward as I searched for purpose and meaning. Moreover, I was going stag to a wedding, a veritable trigger for my anxiety. To my relief, I ran into the B's, next-door-neighbors to Al and Austin, outside the wedding venue and walked in with them. Found Jello inside and talked sports with him for a bit, then Marilyn, Ross, Paul, Craig, Zola. Indeed, most of them had aged. Wilder still, most were parents. Marilyn showed me photos of her and Ross' son, Henry. Apparently, Paul has more than one! Michigan State got throttled at home by Washington and Michael Penix Jr., giving us something to talk about. 

Al's brother Nick, who bought us booze our freshman year in college, officiated the five-minute ceremony. No groomsman, no bridal party; very informal affair, the way I'd have it. The venue served tacos for dinner afterward, then dimmed the lights and turned up the music. To my delight, Paul set up his phone at our wedding table so that it displayed the Michigan game. I decided to post up there most of the night. In front of the game was where I wanted to be anyway, but it also provided a place to hide from socialization. Craig set his phone up the same way for multiple, albeit minuscule, viewing angles. 

Once upon a time Al and I both would have scoffed at the notion of a wedding on the night of a Michigan Football game, but I think we've come a long way from those days. Perhaps a jaded factor played into that, or a heartbreak factor. Of course, this game was against Bowling Green, too, a cupcake opponent by any standard. The betting lines favored the Wolverines by a whopping 40.5 points. As such, it was not difficult to prioritize a best friend's wedding over a football game. At this point, Paul, Ross, and Al appeared to be getting drunk off beer. 

Bowling Green caused more than one double-take at the wedding, especially during the first half. JJ McCarthy played the worst game of his career at Michigan. At times he appeared to throw the ball directly to Bowling Green's defensive backs. "There goes the Heisman," Jello scoffed. That turned into, "Are we really trying to lose this game?" and "This would really ruin Al's wedding night, wouldn't it?" Indeed an upset of this magnitude would taint Al's wedding night but it wouldn't surprise me, as Al and I have a terrible track record watching games together, our heart-wrenching college years and thereafter included. Many times had we pondered the notion that we were cursed or targets of some karmic punishment doled out for misdeeds in our previous lives. We attended App State as students, then Oregon the next Saturday; we went to every home game during the 3-8 2008 season, though we blacked out at most of the tailgates; we went to Rich Rod's last game together, a blowout in Jacksonville on New Year's Day (at least for a little while, as Al got kicked out for inebriation before half, at which point the game was already over anyways, so I followed him out); we endured Brady Hoke and watched more than a few losses together during his failed regime; I drove to Grand Rapids to watch Harbaugh's first game with Al, a tough loss to Utah, and again for the 2021 College Football Playoff Semifinal, a doomed date with eventual national champion Georgia. There were some victories in there, including the magical 2022 Ohio State road game when Al drove to Wolverine Lake to watch with Frank and me, but the scales remained lopsided. We deserved a medal for the horror we'd seen together.

Apprehension started from the get-go. On the first play of the game, Falcons quarterback Camden Orth completed a beautiful pass to fellow Florida native (why Bowling Green for these guys?) Odieu Hiliare for 30 yards; initially ruled an incompletion, video review properly affirmed the catch. Nonetheless, it proved fruitless, for Michigan's defense regrouped and forced a punt on the next set of downs. Michigan's first offensive drive went so well that I thought I could stow away the apprehension for the rest of the night and enjoy the festivities. Not to be outdone by Hiliare's theatric catch, Blake Corum got the ball on Michigan's first play and ran 54 yards before being brought down at the Falcon 23-yard line. Edwards ran for 11 yards on the next play, then JJ scrambled for 8 to the 4-yard line, putting them in Corum smashmouth range. Sure enough, Corum scored on the next play up the middle. The drive lasted only four plays, went 76 yards, and included zero pass attempts. 

Things got hairy after that, though. Michigan's defense forced a three-and-out and the offense got to start their drive at the BGSU 43-yard line. This seemed like a golden opportunity to pad that lead. JJ marched the team all the way to the 5 before he threw his first interception of the season. The pick resulted in a touchback. The defender read JJ's eyes the whole play. Bowling Green then proceeded to show their mettle, driving the ball the length of the field with a 12-play drive that took up more than five minutes of game clock and resulted in a field goal that cut Michigan's lead to 4. On the ensuing kickoff, Max Bredeson fielded the ball on a short kick, took a big hit, and coughed it up, giving the Falcons the ball back and a short field to work with to boot. They got another chip shot field goal out of it, making what was supposed to be a tune-up a 1-point game midway through the second quarter. 

Michigan was not done gift-wrapping turnovers. In fact, they turned it over again on their next possession. After driving to the Bowling Green 38-yard line, JJ threw a bomb intended for Cornelius Johnson at the goal line. Badly underthrown, the ball landed right in the arms of Falcons defender Jordan Oladokun. What the hell, JJ?

Fortunately, Jesse Minter and the Michigan defense had more or less figured out Bowling Green's offense, forcing repeated three-and-outs and putting out starting quarterback Camden Orth. Purdue transfer Hayden Timosciek replaced Orth following McCarthy's second pick but provided little spark. Under Timosciek, six of BGSU's next nine drives lasted four plays or fewer, with three of those drives resulting in turnovers. 

With the Falcons offense unable to stay on the field, Michigan took advantage of a tired BGSU defense on the next drive. Acting head coach Sherrone Moore called three straight Corum runs to start the possession, but showed his faith in JJ by letting him air it out thereafter. On 1st and 10 from the Michigan 45, McCarthy got rancher Colston Loveland involved with a 22-yard throw and catch, setting up another 1st down at the BGSU 33-yard line. From there, JJ wound up and delivered a great ball to Roman Wilson for a touchdown, already their sixth touchdown hookup of the season. At Michigan Stadium, the lights flickered maize and blue, then off and on in a display I'd never seen before. Usually blue-haired when it comes to its traditions, the light show celebration seemed so strange it prompted me to ask those watching at the table, "Have we ever had these flickering lights before?" In reply, Craig stated that we had used them once last year for a night game, but conceded that the display was mostly new and particularly progressive for Michigan. I kind of liked them. Turn up the Big House; long overdue. Despite three turnovers, Michigan led 14-6 going into halftime. I utilized the break to hit the restroom, the dance floor, and the bar for Coca-Cola (no coffee at the wedding). I mingled a bit; probably popped a gummy or two. 

"I think the wedding photographer captured you and Ross at the exact moment JJ threw one of his interceptions" - the groom

The wedding’s collective BAC rose steadily as the second half got underway. The idea was to put the Falcons to bed in the second half. Getting the ball to start the second half, JJ and the Michigan offense fell short of calming the fanbase's collective anxiety, going three and out and ostensibly giving Bowling Green a gift-wrapped opportunity to make it a game, something we seemed committed to doing throughout the game. Rather ungratefully, Bowling Green refused the gift. On first down, Hayden Timosciek dropped back to pass and, feeling pressure, made an ill-advised throw that plopped into the paws of Michigan big man Kris Jenkins. The three-hundred-pound senior from Maryland rumbled toward the endzone before finally being brought down two yards short. The Big House, sensing a momentum change finally, erupted. First and goal from the two called for smashmouth Corum again. He had to fight for it this time, but Corum got the touchdown, prompting the flickering lights again. Michigan went up 21-6, giving us some breathing room. 

After that, Michigan's defense controlled the game. Without starter Camden Orth the Falcons simply couldn't move the ball. Their second half possessions resulted in two turnovers, three punts, and one missed field goal, rendering Michigan's offensive struggles moot. Midway through the third JJ threw a fifty-yard touchdown to Cornelius Johnson that put the game out of reach at 31-6. That gave JJ something to add to his highlight real, perhaps, but his third interception of the game, this one in the dying seconds of the third quarter, cemented this one as the worst performance of his college career. Michigan escaped with a 31-6 victory. On one hand, a win is a win no matter how ugly, but on the other hand, the game tempered expectations regarding Michigan's long-term objectives. 

Despite my anxiety, I had fun at the wedding. It was really good to see the old college gang. I had almost forgotten how close we all were once, living together in that filthy house. In his speech, Al's dad Steve gave the BOX table a shout-out and alluded to his drunken behavior at our football tailgates the year he went through a divorce, giving us all a good chuckle. The BOX guys all convened on the dance floor for the final stretch of songs. With gusto the inebriated groom sang "Sweet Tummy Sticks," a favorite from those college tailgates, to end the night. Ross and I laughed and laughed. 

It sounded like they planned to take the party to the bars when the event ended. I was exhausted so I drove back to Al's at that point. When I got there I turned on the TV to find the game of the night just underway, Colorado State at Colorado. The Rocky Mountain Showdown, an irrelevant game for years, took on the feeling of a big game with heightened animosity as a result of CSU head coach Mike Norvell throwing shade at Coach Prime days before the game. Taking a shot at Deion, Norvell said, "When I talk to grown-ups, I take my hat and glasses off. That's what my mother taught me." 

Maybe Norvell had a plan. His team came out ready for a fight. The Rams played with malignant intent all night, and in my evaluation, the vitriol elevated their play and kept the game close, though it would cost them penalty yards more than once. The game wasn't supposed to be close; the spread favored Colorado by a whopping 23.5 points. Yet the teams looked evenly matched. Both started fast, scoring two touchdowns in the first quarter apiece before things slowed down in the second quarter. In a shocker of a score, the underdogs took a 21-14 lead into halftime. It was about midnight. I put on a jacket and went out to smoke a joint on Al and Austin's front porch. 

A wild fourth quarter followed a scoreless third. Down 11 points with 11 minutes left, Colorado staged a furious rally that culminated in a 46-yard pass from Shedeur Sanders to Jimmy Horn Jr. The Buffs got the two-point conversion to force overtime, then won it in double overtime to remain undefeated, the darlings of the college football world. The game ended around two o'clock in the morning.