MICHIGAN VS. EVERYBODY: MICHIGAN STATE

MICHIGAN STATE

Not unlike children in Gaza living under the warped umbrella of Hamas, students attending Michigan State become indoctrinated during their time in East Lansing – indoctrinated to hate the University of Michigan and anyone associated with it with a blind and infinite rage. I watched close friends and former classmates succumb to this phenomenon. At first, I took offense to it, especially from those who had cheered for Michigan at one point in their lives. Granted I was naive, and granted I was (and am) overly sensitive, but some of the things that lifelong friends posted on Facebook (i.e. “scUM”) about the university I attended hurt me. 

As the years went on, though, I realized it was just fucking sad. During the Mark Dantonio era I routinely watched Spartan football players take cheap shots, late hits, commit unsportsmanlike conduct penalties with intent to injure, and generally play dirty when they thought the refs wouldn’t catch them. William Gholston’s actions during the 2011 game exemplified the era. Gholston not only punched Taylor Lewan during that game, he also ripped upwards on Denard Robinson’s facemask while Robinson lay prone at the bottom of a pile after the whistle, yanking his head upwards in doing so. Though Gholston's unsportsmanlike actions earned him a one-game suspension, after the fact, they also surely earned him lifetime membership in the Spartan Dawg Club. Hating Michigan literally becomes a Spartan's entire identity, and this is why Appalachian State remains, for most State fans, one of the biggest victories in the history of their football program. Such an externally focused identity prevents introspection, a skill that just might serve the poster child of dysfunctional institutions (and dysfunctional leadership) well.

Last year, following a 29-7 drubbing in the Big House, some Spartans exposed the dark depths such an indoctrination in hatred ultimately amounts to when at least eight MSU football players grouped up on two Michigan players inside the tunnel and assaulted them. Chris Solari, who covered the game for The Detroit Free Press, witnessed the assault and reported several Spartans punching, shoving, and kicking sophomore defensive back JaDen McBurrows, who suffered a potential broken nose in the assault. Video footage silenced many of the Sparty-homers who tried to defend the assault, but not all of them. That wasn’t even the worst of the thuggery, though. In a separate scuffle, Khary Crump swung his helmet violently at Gemon Green while another Spartan helped restrain him. Green sustained a concussion, in addition to facial and upper body bruises. Bob Wojnowski of The Detroit News aptly summarized the actions of these Spartans as “profound cowardice.” To his credit, Mel Tucker suspended eight of his players for their role in the attack, calling their behavior “inexcusable.” Prosecutors ultimately charged seven of them with crimes. Khary Crump faced a charge of felonious assault. 

That backstory made the 2023 night game at Michigan State a giddy prospect. I wanted blood and I knew Harbaugh wanted it too. MSU was about to get their bare asses paddled in front of their home crowd, and the only question in the weeks leading up to the game was how bad it would be. 

Offensive tackle Trevor Keegan, who admitted after the game that the team wasn’t over last year’s tunnel incident, used at least a tube of eye black to cover his face in warpaint, and his image on the field at Spartan Stadium encapsulated my inner zeitgeist. Keegan painted all of the skin around his eyes black, a look that reminded me of the roided-out Steve Lattimer character from the film The Program, with an added touch of scars at the corners of his mouth a la Heath Ledger’s Joker. The look said it all: no prisoners tonight. This one was not just about beating Sparty to further our long-term goals of a Big Ten and National Championship; this one was about payback, revenge, and justice. It was about sending a message and inflicting rock bottom on a program tarnished by scandal, then not acting like classless goons afterward. 

Saturday, October 21, 2023

Didn’t sleep, Friday night, so I was waiting for the College Gameday shows to start. I wanted to hear the analysts’ takes on Michigan’s most recent NCAA accusation in regards to sign stealing (read: scouting opponents). That bombshell of a story dropped on Thursday, my busy day at work. I dubbed it white noise – people hated Harbaugh – until an ESPN article dropped Friday morning, followed shortly thereafter by the suspension of a Michigan staffer named Connor Stallions. I’d never heard his name before Friday. In the BOX group chat, Paul expressed worry, and that heightened my own a bit. 

Besides that topic, Saturday’s slate featured some interesting games. It started with a Big Ten East showdown, 6-0 Penn State at 6-0 Ohio State. Both ESPN College Gameday and Fox’s Big Noon Kickoff set up shop in Columbus for the affair, providing Buckeye fans the opportunity to salute Urban Meyer and give him a warm homecoming. Also returning was rising NFL star C.J. Stroud, who sat down with the ESPN crew and made the guest picks for College Gameday. Many of the signs in the audience alluded to the Michigan sign-stealing investigation; some were even clever, like “Harbaugh stole my other sign.”

Incredibly, Penn State went 1 for 16 on third downs in the game, with their only conversion coming late in garbage time. Nittany Lions quarterback Drew Allar obviously contributed to that stat, underwhelming in his first appearance on a big stage; he completed only 18 of 42 passes for 191 yards. Fellow first-year starter Kyle McCord was better, but not stellar, going 22 of 35 for 286 yards. The Buckeyes QB had the advantage of throwing to Marvin Harrison Jr., who caught 11 of those balls – half of McCord’s completions – for 162 yards and a touchdown. Harrison Jr. was the clear MVP of the game, in my estimation. 

Tennessee traveled to Bama next. Ex-Michigan QB Joe Milton looked spectacular early, leading the Vols to a 20-7 lead at half, but the Crimson Tide stormed back in the second half, winning 34-20. Cigar smoke wafted across the field at Bryant-Denny. At the same time P.J. Fleck and the Minnesota Gophers battled it out with the offensively challenged Hawkeyes for the bronze pig, also known as the Floyd of Rosedale Trophy. The Gophers celebrated after Iowa’s go-ahead punt return touchdown got negated by the officials, who ruled the Iowa return man had signaled fair catch, a controversial call that left Kinnick Stadium stunned, apoplectic, and pigless. 

Then, at 6:30 CT, Michigan took the field at a hostile Spartan Stadium. The Spartan Dawgs wore their all-black uniforms. Michigan came out in their road white jerseys with navy pants. The weather was chilly enough for Jim Harbaugh to break out the puffer jacket. Absent from the Michigan State sideline was Mel Tucker, who Michigan State fired in September for his involvement in a sexual harassment scandal. Filling his shoes (and headset) was interim head coach and generally upstanding guy Harlon Barnett, who played safety for George Perles at Michigan State from 1986-1989, earning All-American honors during his senior season.

Was there any question that Michigan wanted the ball first? JJ McCarthy, like Trevor Keegan, had used a little extra eye black for the night game, smearing it across his cheeks. Wearing #9, Michigan’s stoic leader took the field at his own 16-yard line after Semaj Morgan foolishly fielded the opening kickoff. JJ snapped the ball and threw a seven-yard completion to Blake Corum, then did the same on the next play for 10 yards. Methodically McCarthy marched his Wolverines down field in this fashion, completing 5 of 6 passing attempts on the drive, one that went 76 yards and lasted six minutes plus. On the 12th play of the drive, he handed the ball to Mr. Automatic. Corum promptly punched it in for his thirteenth touchdown of the season, and James Turner booted the extra point to put the road team up 7-0 early.

After the Michigan defense forced a turnover on downs, McCarthy continued to sharpen his weapons. He went 4 for 4 on the ensuing drive, his fourth completion going to Roman Wilson for a 25-yard touchdown. Wilson's touchdown gave him ten on the year through only eight games, proof the Hawaiian deserved the coveted number one jersey. After allowing a whole 26 yards on MSU's opening drive, Michigan's defense tightened during State's second drive; the drive lasted only three plays and netted the Spartans -5 yards. Punter Ryan Eckley entered the game for the first time and booted it 49 yards, setting up a 1st and 10 for Michigan at their own 34-yard line. From there, McCarthy cooked up another scoring drive, leaning heavily on AJ Barner and Colston Loveland, twin weapons at tight end. A beautiful 22-yard touchdown pass to Loveland beat solid coverage by MSU and gave JJ his second touchdown of the half. His third touchdown of the season, Loveland boldly struck the Paul Bunyan pose in the endzone. Their team in a three-score hole, Spartan Stadium went silent. 

Michigan State finally forced a punt on Michigan’s next possession, but McCarthy picked up where he left off on his fifth possession. After scrambling for 22 yards on the ground, setting up a 1st and 10 from the Michigan State 22-yard line, McCarthy once again found Loveland for a 22-yard touchdown strike, this time on a seam over the middle. That gave JJ three touchdown passes in the first half, two of those coming on beautiful deliveries to Loveland; he looked as sharp as he had all season. Up 28-0, at that point, Michigan refused to let up. After the defense forced yet another punt, McCarthy orchestrated an efficient two-minute drill that saw Michigan march 76 yards in only a minute and a half. A completion to Donovan Edwards on 1st and goal from the 10 pushed the ball to the Michigan State 4-yard line. JJ snapped the ball on 2nd and goal with 8 seconds remaining in the half and connected with AJ Barner for what appeared to be McCarthy's fourth touchdown pass of the half, one that would have given Michigan a cutthroat 35-zilch halftime lead. Alas, officials wiped out Barner's touchdown when they called Donovan Edwards for a phantom false start call. The false start call required a ten-second run off on the game clock; in effect, it gifted Michigan State a mercy ending to the half. Merry Christmas, Sparty. It was still Michigan’s largest halftime lead in the rivalry since 1947.

Perhaps looking for a moral victory, if nothing else, State looked to get back on track when they got the ball to start the second half. Redshirt freshman quarterback Kaitin Houser and the Spartan offense showed signs of life, even moving into Michigan territory, but any hopes still lingering in Spartan Stadium evaporated when Houser threw an interception on 4th and 7. Mike Sainristil picked Houser off and took it 72 yards to the house, scoring his second touchdown of the season. Following the pick-six, Michigan (once again) led 35-0. MSU went three and out, subsequently, then McCarthy threw his career-high fourth touchdown of the night midway through the third quarter, this time finding Barner for an 11-yard score. This time the touchdown stood for Barner, who deserved it. The transfer from Indiana posted career highs with 8 receptions for 99 yards in the blowout. With his team comfortably up 42-0, this was the final time McCarthy saw the field. He finished the night 21 of 27 for 287 passing yards and 4 touchdowns. 

Even in garbage time, however, Michigan accelerated. In a fitting moment, Ja’Den McBurrows, one victim of last year’s tunnel assault, recorded his first career interception in the fourth quarter, picking off MSU backup QB Sam Leavitt on a deflection. On the sideline, McBurrows' teammates swarmed him. "I know how he felt," Mike Sainristil said of McBurrows' pick, "I felt it too." Harbaugh needed few words to describe that moment. "What an amazing thing," he commented wryly. McBurrows also recorded three tackles in the game, including one tackle for a loss.

Then, up 42-0 in the dying seconds of the game, Harbaugh and/or Moore chose not to kneel out the clock. They didn't call for any passes, but they didn't call for any kneel-downs either. Instead, they allowed third string quarterback Alex Orji, a sophomore from Sachse, Texas, to run at will. In total, on the final drive of the game, Orji ran 5 times for 27 yards. With 8 seconds left, he snapped the ball, followed his blockers, and broke arm tackles en route to the endzone for a hard-fought score.  Orji's first touchdown of the season made it 48-0 Wolverines. Harbaugh stopped short of pulling a Woody Hayes, sending out the kicking unit. James Turner’s sixth extra point of the night made it 49-0, which proved the final.

It was a night to forget for Michigan State’s fanbase. Michigan shut out Michigan State in their own stadium, under the lights, and that wasn’t the worst of it for Sparty. The 49-0 rout was the worst home loss in history for the Spartans, and the largest margin of defeat to their in-state rivals since 1947, when the Wolverines defeated the Spartans 55-0. 

To make matters worse, national news outlets picked up on a side-story that made Michigan State look even more foolish post-game. In the BOX group chat, Paul had alluded to this, forwarding a screenshot of the Spartan Stadium videoboard taken just prior to kickoff. Curiously, the video board showed an image of Adolf Hitler, of all people. The operators of the scoreboard had apparently shown an image of the fascist as part of a pregame pop culture quiz, or something, but the reason hardly mattered. The fact that it happened at all underscored the ineptitude of the university. A university spokesman issued an apology for the Hitler imagery during the second half of the game, a moment that must have felt a lot like rock bottom. At a time when the university needed to lay low and let things blow over, they had found the stupidest way to draw attention to themselves. But not all was lost for the Spartan faithful: at least they had a sign-stealing accusation to hang their hat on for the rest of the season; they could root for Tony Pettiti and the NCAA!

"Leave no doubt," Harbaugh had urged his team before the battle in East Lansing. Hanging half a hundred in your rival's backyard leaves little doubt, indeed. When asked if his Spartans had reached their lowest point of the season, Harlon Barnett conceded "it might be," adding, "I thought it was last week." Losers of five straight, Michigan State traveled to Minnesota next, while #2 Michigan, winners of 20 consecutive conference games dating back to 2021, looked forward to a bye week before hosting Purdue on November 4.

Pac 12 After Dark delivered yet again; it didn't hurt that I was riding the high of our 49-0 curbstomping while watching. Without starting quarterback Cameron Rising, #14 Utah went into USC and defeated the #18 Trojans, 34-32, handing Lincoln Riley’s squad an early second defeat that jeopardized the Trojans' title hopes. Then even later in Seattle, the 1-5 Sun Devils of Arizona State put undefeated Washington on upset alert, one nobody had predicted when Saturday's games started. In a shocker of a halftime score, the Sun Devils led 7-3 over the Huskies. ASU handcuffed Michael Penix Jr. all game, forcing him into two interceptions and tarnishing his Heisman resume, but their offensive output – a single touchdown in the first half – proved too little. Washington scored 12 unanswered in the 4th quarter to escape with a 15-7 victory, keeping the dream alive in Seattle for another week at least.

I ended the night country dancing with Paul Cauthen: "It's a quarter to three, you know what I need/ It's a quarter to four, do we have anymore?"

Michigan vs. Everybody: UNLV

 UNLV

Sunday, September 10, 2023

I bid adieu to summer, for fall hath arrived since my last entry. This weekend, the sky has been overcast, a shade darker than before. The brilliant ferns outside my apartment’s back entrance died overnight, and the crows materialized out of thin air yesterday morning. Where have the crows been, Edgar Allan Poe? I’m reading Jeffrey Meyer’s biography of Poe right now at Mueller Park; no one else is here, the temp. is only 67, and the Vikings start in five minutes. The church bells from Lake of the Isles rang here at about 11:30 and I am expecting them again any minute to mark the noonday, at which point I’ll walk back to my apartment to watch Kirk Cousins, whose alma mater is in the news again this morning for all the wrong reasons. This time the alleged wrongdoer is head football coach Mel Tucker, who is accused of sexual misconduct by a female motivational and sexual assault prevention speaker. According to my iPhone, the church bells are two minutes late. 

Yesterday was a day devoted to college football, as all autumn Saturdays should be. Like an old man, I woke up at six. That gave me three hours to kill before Big Noon Kickoff even started. I don’t have ESPN so I made the switch to Fox's knockoff version of College Gameday, Big Noon Kickoff, last year, perhaps the year prior. Matt Leinart, Urban Meyer (whom I don't dislike as a host), Brady Quinn, and new host Mark Ingram visited the mountain town of Boulder, Colorado, the epicenter of the college football world at present, to see if Coach Prime’s Buffs passed the smell test. I’d hyped the spread for this game all week, mostly to the BOX group chat that I’d recently rejoined on WhatsApp. Having watched Shedeur Sanders last weekend, I felt certain Colorado, favored by only three, would steamroll Nebraska, who lost to PJ Fleck's Gophers in week one.

Steamroll Colorado did, though not immediately. Nebraska held the Buffaloes scoreless most of the first half; Colorado didn't get on the board until there was 4:20 left in the second quarter, when Jace Feely, son of Michigan all-time kicker Jay Feely, knocked in a three-pointer from 31 yards away. Huskers quarterback Jeff Sims promptly threw an interception, and Colorado immediately capitalized, with Shedeur Sanders connecting with Tar'Varish Dawson for a 30-yard touchdown on the very next play. A last-second field goal from Feely made it 13-0 Buffs at half, and the playmakers on Coach Prime’s squad proved too much for the Huskers in the second half. Nebraska looked like a team with promise but it was clear they were still trying to get the kinks out under new coach Matt Ruhle, whose squad fell to 0-2; Ruhle may have to re-evaluate his starting quarterback. 

Michigan hosted UNLV in the 2:30 C.T. slot. CBS broadcast the game. Jay Harbaugh, filling in for his suspended father, wore the head coach headset to start the game. Tommy Doman booted the ball into the endzone on a sun-kissed Saturday in Ann Arbor, the temperature sitting comfortably in the upper sixties, the sky the color of stonewashed denim. A swell day to be drunk in the student section, I reflected to myself. I wonder what it’s like to be sober in the student section, I wondered subsequently; probably just as swell. 

Unanticipated concern mounted briefly as Runnin’ Rebel QB Doug Brumfield threw for back-to-back first downs. At this point in the season, of course – and indeed through the first eight games or so – any concern was not so much borne out of a fear of imminent defeat but rather out of fear that these displays of weakness would come back to haunt us against real challengers like Penn State and Ohio State. Simply put, a defense that gave up back-to-back first downs to lowly UNLV seemed unworthy of national championship hype. These concerns proved premature, however. Jesse Minter’s unit forced a punt before the Rebels crossed the block M at midfield. 

Endzone yogi JJ McCarthy led the offense onto the field, his calm demeanor infectious. His play seemed to say, in the fashion of Aaron Rodgers to Green Bay fans, “R-E-L-A-X.” He went 5-5 passing on the opening drive. Those numbers included a 20-yard pass to Corum on the first offensive snap, a 16-yard pass to Tyler Morris, and a 25-yarder to Roman Wilson. The run game, which looked ineffective earlier in the drive, heated up in the red zone. On a 3rd and 7 from the UNLV 14, Corum broke off for an 11-yard gain to the 3. Mr. Automatic at the goal line, he punched it in on the very next play. In total the drive went 80 yards in 9 plays, lasting 4:37. 

If the defense had been asleep to start the game, they had woken up by the second UNLV possession. A run to Jai’Den Thomas on first down went for a 3-yard loss. An incomplete pass followed on second down. Then, on 3rd and 13, Derrick Moore, a sophomore defensive end from Baltimore, sacked Brumfield for a loss of 6. UNLV punted for the second time.

Michigan flexed its muscle on its second drive, with JJ orchestrating a methodical drive that saw most of its weapons involved. Sherrone Moore continued trying to get the run game going by giving the ball to Blake to start the drive. Corum ran for 6 yards on 1st down, then for another 8 on 2nd down. Twice Donovan Edwards got the ball only to be stopped twice for no gain. JJ connected with Tyler Morris for a 15-yard gain on a 3rd and 6 to cross midfield, and later he found tight end AJ Barner, a transfer from Indiana, for 12 yards on a 3rd and 7. That took the Wolverines to the UNLV 27. From there, the run game finished the drive. On 1st and 10, Corum ran for 8, then on 2nd and 2, JJ showed off his speed with a 17-yard scamper to the 2-yard line. Guess what Sherrone Moore called for from there. Corum’s second of the day made it 14-0 with 14:56 left in the second quarter.

UNLV’s next possession felt like a last grasp at making the game competitive, if there even was one to begin with (the Runnin’ Rebels were 37-point dogs according to Vegas). Their first play went according to plan: Brumfield completed a pass to Jacob De Jesus that went for 15 yards to the 40-yard line. The following three plays saw UNLV squander away almost all of those 15 yards they had gained. On 1st down, Brumfield dropped back to pass only to be thrown down by Jaylen Harrell, a senior defensive end from Tampa. Harrell’s first sack of the season made it 2nd down and 16 for the Rebs; he wouldn’t have to wait long for his second. Following a three-yard run by Vincent Davis Jr. on 2nd down, Harrell joined forces with Mason Graham, the monster sophomore nose tackle from Anaheim, sacking Brumfield again on 3rd and 13, this time for a 7-yard loss. Graham and Harrell’s joint sack forced UNLV’s third punt, which might as well have had a white flag attached to it. 

McCarthy started the day 11 for 11 passing; his first incompletion didn’t come until less than four minutes were remaining in the first half. Even then, the incompletion didn’t inhibit the offensive drive. Getting the ball with four minutes left in the half, the offense sapped the clock with a 10-play, 83-yard drive in boa constrictor fashion. The drive culminated on 1st and 10 from the UNLV 13 when, with twenty-four seconds left in the half, JJ hit Roman Wilson on a crossing route up the middle for the touchdown, Wilson’s fourth of the young season. Michigan took a 21-0 lead into the locker rooms. 

The second half figured to serve as garbage time for the second and third stringers, perhaps after another insurance score, yet Michigan’s second possession in the third quarter yielded the season’s first special moment, an auspicious one at that. The drive went only three plays. On the first, McCarthy completed a pass to Cornelius Johnson for a 12-yard gain. On the second, Corum fought for a 5-yard gain on the ground. Then, on the third play, a 2nd and 5 from the UNLV 47-yard line, JJ threw again to Wilson, who caught the ball around the 33 and ran it in untouched for his fifth receiving touchdown of the year. The touchdown went for 47 yards. That number – 47 – happened to be written in black sharpie on JJ McCarthy’s non-throwing hand during the game, a salute to his childhood friend and UNLV defensive lineman Ryan Keeler, who wore the number 47 before passing away due to heart arrhythmia in February. What made it even more auspicious was the fact that CBS hadn’t mentioned JJ’s tribute to Keeler until seconds before the 47-yard touchdown pass to Wilson. Was this one of those moments – one that marks the truly special season?

JJ's tribute to Ryan Keeler

Late in the third, Blake Corum’s third rushing TD (5 yards) of the day put the Wolverines up 35-zip. Acting head coach Mike Hart ushered in the backups in the fourth quarter with the game comfortably out of reach. Backup QB Davis Warren threw an interception early in the fourth quarter before third-stringer Jayden Denegal got reps. UNLV put in their own backup quarterback, Jayden Maiavia, in the fourth quarter; against Michigan’s second-team defense, he led the Rebs on a 9-play, 81-yard drive that finally got his team on the board with only two and a half minutes left in the game. The game ended without further scoring: 35-7. Michigan went to 2-0 while UNLV fell to 1-1. 

Saturday’s prime-time game featured #11 Texas at #3 Alabama in a clash of traditional powerhouses, but I couldn’t watch as it was on ESPN. The second game of a home-and-home series, Texas went into Tuscaloosa seeking revenge for last year’s home loss to the Tide, a 20-19 heartbreaker that ended on a last-second field goal booted by Tide kicker Will Reichard. This time, the Longhorns didn’t have to contend with Heisman Trophy-winner Bryce Young; in his place was redshirt sophomore Jalen Milroe, a four-star recruit from Katy, Texas. Because I couldn’t watch this game, I watched Miami (who is even coaching there these days?) take down Texas A&M while eating Chipotle I ordered for dinner. That oughtta heat up some seats in College Station. When the Wisconsin at Washington State game started on ABC, I switched to that game intermittently. Luke Fickell's Badgers started lethargic but rallied. . . only to fall short 31-22. Milroe indeed proved the difference in the Texas - Bama game, and not in a good way. He threw two picks on the night and got outshined by Horns signal-caller Quinn Ewers, who impressed with 349 yards and 3 touchdowns in a 34-24 upset. Nick Saban demoted Milroe following the loss, publicly announcing he'd turn to another starter for Bama's next game against lowly UCF (this proved a temporary demotion). In other finals, North Carolina survived yet another upset-bid by Appalachian State; the Mountaineers took the Heels to double overtime before falling short. In the nightcap on FOX, reigning Heisman-winner Caleb Williams and USC obliterated Stanford. 

It’s 6:40 on a Sunday evening at Mueller Park. The sun’s going down behind the Victorian homes on the west side of Colfax. A souped-up car engine roars onto a nearby freeway. A kid riding his scooter through the park sneezes several times. A solitary cricket chirps in the grass, pining for the lost summer. Earlier today, Baker Mayfield and the Bucs upset the Vikings, starting the season on a sour note, and, drinking coffee (I have Mondays off) and smoking Marlboros, I feel the Sunday evening gloom of a city whose football team lost earlier in the day. The smell of Sunday dinner wafts.

Michigan vs Everybody

 EAST CAROLINA

Sunday, September 3, 2023

MINNEAPOLIS - Dog days of September continue on the Sunday morning of Labor Day weekend, with temperatures reaching the mid-90s yesterday and expected to do the same today. The low overnight was only 75, meaning I kept the AC unit running all night long; in fact, it ran most of the day yesterday, too, except for the hours during the Michigan game, as the white noise of the machine made it hard to hear the football broadcast. This morning I’m listening to a biography of JFK on audiobook while waiting for Northwestern v. Rutgers (11:00 a.m.) to kick off a second day of the college football weekend marathon. Jack’s dad, Joe Kennedy Sr., residing in London as the U.S. Ambassador to England, sides with Neville Chamberlain and his policy of appeasement towards Nazi Germany; Jack, a rising junior at Harvard, rejected his father’s views on the matter, a stance that clarified Jack was his own man, an independent thinker, by no means chained to his father’s affairs or bonded thereby.

CBS had the Rutgers v Northwestern game, so I had that channel on in the background for an hour or two before kickoff. Pregame narratives centered around the turbulent offseason in Evanston. Northwestern, who fired longtime head coach Pat Fitzgerald after hazing allegations surfaced this summer, named David Braun its head football coach in July. Commentators thought this transition gave Rutgers an edge in the contest. They predicted a rough year for the Wildcats.

Yesterday Michigan Football kicked off its 2023 campaign against East Carolina at 11:00 C.T. on Peacock. My lack of a Peacock account created an obvious predicament. At the last minute, Al sent me the login and password for a throwaway Peacock account, which I hastily typed into my Roku in time to watch the kickoff. I had planned, as a last resort, to listen to the game via Mgoblue.com's radio feature. I figured the game should be over for all intents and purposes by halftime, anyway.

The big story before the Michigan game -- and the season at large -- was Jim Harbaugh’s absence. ESPN salivated over his suspension for weeks; the College Gameday Crew covered it extensively. JJ McCarthy wore a “Free Harbaugh” shirt during pregame warmups, alluding to his coach’s three-game suspension for dubious recruiting infractions (supposedly Harbaugh bought a recruit a burger). McCarthy has the swag and the attitude, for sure; it has changed the culture. Defensive Coordinator Jesse Minter, previously an assistant under John Harbaugh in Baltimore, assumed head coaching duties for the ECU game. Michigan announced that Mike Hart and Jay Harbaugh would split head coaching duties by halves in the second game against UNLV, and Offensive Coordinator Sherrone Moore would take on those responsibilities for the third game of the season against Bowling Green. Expected to roll over its first three opponents -- cupcakes, really -- Michigan expected to have Harbaugh back in time for the meat and potatoes of the Big Ten schedule. Having won back-to-back conference championships but failed twice in the College Football Playoff, the Wolverines had their sights set on more than just the conference title this season. 

“They’ve been coming here since 1927,” Mike Tirico declared as cameras panned over Main Street in Ann Arbor, then the maize-out crowd. “The Big House is full. College football Saturdays are back.” Minter’s defense took the field first after Tommy Doman kicked off to the Pirates. They forced a quick three-and-out. The ECU punter pinned Michigan at their own 2-yard line, creating a dilemma the offense failed to resolve; Michigan, too, went three-and-out on their first possession, failing even to get the ball out of the shadow of the endzone. Doman punted.

Then, on the third play of the Pirates’ second drive, a 3rd and 9 scenario for ECU, Pirates quarterback Mason Garcia misfired. The errant pass ended up in the hands of #0, Mikey Sainristil, a converted wide receiver and Michigan’s emotional leader on defense. An auspicious start for Jesse Minter’s Ravenesque defense. 

Again J.J. and the offense took the field. Concern mounted as Michigan threatened to go three-and-out again, but on 3rd and 7, JJ found Roman Wilson for a sixteen-yard gain. Following a 2-yard pass on the ensuing first down, Blake Corum broke loose for a run of 23 yards to the Pirates' 15-yard line, giving Michigan their first red zone opportunity of the young season. Then on a 3rd and 9 from the 14-yard line, McCarthy found Roman Wilson in the endzone for the first points of the season. 7-0 good guys. JJ looked crisp and clean to start the game.

Michigan forced another punt on defense, then went 90 yards in seven plays for their second touchdown. A quintessential Michigan drive, it included a 20-yard pass reception by Cornelius Johnson and a 37-yard run by Corum. From the ECU 2-yard line, Sherrone Moore went to Corum, Mr. Automatic from close range. Blake punched it in for his first score (of many) of the year, making it 14-0. He had 18 touchdowns in 2022.

Later in the second quarter, the passing game opened up to my relief. On a drive that started with 9:48 left in the second quarter, JJ completed 5 out of 5 throws, including one for a touchdown, his second of the game. One ball went to Donovan Edwards for 12 yards. Another went to Cornelius Johnson for 16. Two went to tight end Colston Loveland, the rodeo sophomore from Idaho – one for 24 and one for 15. Good to see the big guy getting involved in the passing attack. And the last pass went to Roman Wilson for a 10-yard touchdown, his second of the game. That put the game pretty comfortably out of reach at 20-0, but kicker James Turner prompted worry about a potential Jake Moody hangover by missing the extra point. Impossible to replace Moody, probably the greatest kicker in Michigan history (Jay Feely is up there), but Turner responded by hitting a 50-yard field goal as time expired in the first half. Maybe there wouldn’t be a hangover, after all. It was 23-0 Wolverines at half. 

The second half played out like a formality. In the 3rd quarter, McCarthy yet again connected with Roman Wilson for their third touchdown, this one a 16-yarder. “Wilson! The hat trick,” Tirico wittily mused. Wilson, who donned the iconic number 1 jersey for the first time on Saturday – having switched from number 14 before the season started – said he wanted to play a game worthy of the other great Michigan receivers to earn the jersey. That select group includes David Terrell, Braylon Edwards, Marquise Walker, and Anthony Carter. His three-touchdown performance proved he belonged among them. Michigan led 30-zip. Second-stringers started filing into the game. 

On the last play of the game, East Carolina kicker Andrew Conrad booted a 33-yarder through the uprights, thereby negating the shutout. It was scrub time, and the field goal mattered not a lick, but I still wanted the shutout. No matter. Without their head coach, Michigan starts the 2023 season 1-0.

JJ McCarthy went 26-30 for 280 yards and three touchdowns in the game, posting a solid passer rating of 95.9. His performance might have been worthy of some early Heisman Trophy hype had it not been overshadowed by a simultaneous performance by Shedeur Sanders, quarterback of the Colorado Buffaloes and the son of head coach Deion Sanders. Deion Sanders, who took over the helm at Boulder in the offseason and brought son Shedeur with him, created waves in the college football world by implementing an unprecedented roster overhaul in the offseason. In total, Deion brought in over 50 players from the transfer portal to join the new-look Buffs. The old-fashioned among the sports media scoffed. Without having coached a single game, Deion had brought intrigue back to Boulder, Colorado for the first time in two decades. The eyes of the college football world were thus on Fort Worth for Colorado’s road opener against the Horned Frogs of TCU. I switched to this game, televised on FOX as part of the network’s Big Noon Kickoff show, when Michigan went up 30-0 in the third quarter. It turned out to be the game of the day from a competitive standpoint, with the Frogs and Buffs battling back and forth in a shootout. 

It looked like another one of TCU’s patented thrillers from a year ago, when they danced like Cinderella all the way to the National Championship Game, but this time they did not have quarterback Max Dugan. More importantly, Colorado had Shedeur Sanders, whose fourth down, 46-yard touchdown pass with less than two minutes left in regulation put the Buffaloes ahead for good. Shedeur amassed more than 500(!) yards passing and accounted for five passing touchdowns, both school records. Instantly he shot up the way-too-early Heisman Leaderboard as a dark horse. 

“Do you believe now?” Coach Prime said emphatically in the post-game presser. The Buffs are here. 

All that excitement and we hadn’t even gotten to the second wave of Saturday games. Probably the biggest game in the 3:30 time slot was tenth-ranked Washington versus Boise State in a battle of Pacific Northwest powers. Boise State scored first. They held a 6-0 lead at the end of the first quarter, but Washington owned the final three quarters. UW scored 28 points in the second quarter and rolled to a 56-19 victory. Huskies QB Michael Penix Jr. nearly matched the stats posted by Shedeur Sanders. One of the favorites for the Heisman, he threw for 450 yards and 5 touchdowns. In other scores, #3 Ohio State defeated Indiana 23-3 at The Horseshoe, Iowa prevailed over Utah State, and Joe Milton and the Volunteers from Rocky Top beat Virginia, a team still reeling from a shooting tragedy last November that took the lives of three players. Bama beat a cupcake, Georgia beat a cupcake, OU beat a cupcake, et. al.

Before the 6:30 nightcap, the Duke’s Mayo Carolina Kickoff featuring Drake May’s North Carolina Tar Heels and Spencer Rattler’s South Carolina Gamecocks, I drove to the Target in St. Louis Park for the first time. First time there because the Uptown Target, which I liked to walk to, recently closed permanently. It had to be Target because my bank account is empty and I got a gift card to Target from one of my students on Friday. As I pulled into the Target parking lot, a sherbet sunset colored the sky with pretty shades of purple, pink, and tangerine. This Target felt like one on a college campus, with a full-sized store (as opposed to the mini-Target Uptown had) and lots of college-aged students roaming the aisles. As a treat, I bought myself dairy-free ice cream to enjoy while I watched the Carolina Bowl, which the Tar Heels ran away with. 

In Piscataway, Rutgers ended up downing Northwestern 24-7. When the Knights took a 24-0 lead in the third, I decided to walk to the park. I found Mueller Park, my go-to, mostly empty. The temp, at a sizzling 95 degrees, explains that. A kid’s birthday party is taking place across the street on Bryant Ave.: a string of colored balloons hangs over the garage door opening, where tables are set up for the party, and there is a kiddy pool and water games in the driveway. The sounds of the kids at play remind me, somehow, of the Roller Coaster Tycoon game on CD-ROM.

The sunflowers on 26th Street, reaching upwards of twelve feet tall, have started wilting in the heat. The grass at Mueller Park is yellowed and dried out, no longer lush or wavy but mostly flattened out. Some hobos sleep on this grass, after all. Airplanes roar overhead every ten minutes or so. Cicadas rattle in the treetops. A police siren wails from downtown. A basketball bounces on the cement court within the park. 50 Cent blares from a passing car, its windows rolled down. 

Sweaty, I walked home for more football. The Beavers of Oregon State, who enjoyed a season for the ages in 2022, look to rekindle the magic as they start the season against San Jose State. DJ Uiagalale, once a Heisman hopeful at Clemson, transferred to Oregon State in the offseason. He accounted for five touchdowns – three passing, two rushing – in a 42-17 rout of the Spartans from San Jose State. 

At 6:30, I turn the channel to the Camping World Classic, a rematch from last year, pitting #5 LSU against #8 Florida State in the first top-ten matchup of the season. Kirk Herbstreit and Chris Fowler called the game for ABC, giving the broadcast an air of exclusivity and importance. Last year the Seminoles prevailed by a point, handing former Irish coach Brian Kelly a loss in his first game coaching the Tigers of LSU. Quarterback Jadyn Davis marched the Bayou Tigers downfield on the opening drive only for FSU’s defensive front to put up a goal line stand. Noles QB Jordan Travis subsequently marched downfield just as easily, scoring on a slant pass to Keon Coleman, a transfer from Michigan State, that went for 40 yards. Daniels and the Tigers answered with a 9-play, 75-yard drive to make it 7-7 in Orlando. 

LSU took a 17-14 lead into the half, but the Seminoles dominated the second half. Jordan Travis wound up throwing for 342 yards and 4 touchdowns. Three of those went to Keon Coleman, who made a statement in his first game in a Seminoles uniform. In the post-game presser, Brian Kelly called his team’s performance in the second half a “collapse.” Florida State wins a statement game 45-23. In Baton Rouge, they have to be wondering why they chose Brian Kelly when Deion Sanders is in Boulder rebuilding that program from the ashes. 

Monday, September 4 - Labor Day

I just smoked a Marlboro (a snowcone, actually) and walked around the block, listening to the cicadas rattle. The sun is going down in the direction of Hennepin and Lake of the Isles, but the heat refuses to let up – as if the heat is a mass or force unrelated to the sun. 

At 7:00, Duke v. #9 Clemson from Wallace Wade Stadium in Durham, North Carolina wraps up an excellent opening weekend of college football. Dabo Swinney’s team looked vastly overrated. Tigers fans were high on quarterback Cade Klubnik, a five-star recruit from Austin, Texas, who replaced DJ Uiagalelei, but the sophomore disappointed in his first game as Clemson’s true starter. He went 27-43 for 209 yards passing, throwing one touchdown and one interception. After trailing 7-6 at halftime, the Blue Devils scored 22 unanswered points in the second half to topple the Tigers 28-7. For Clemson, the season already looked like a downer. 

Goodbye, summer. Gone forever.