BIG TEN CHAMPIONSHIP – INDIANAPOLIS
December 2, 2023
Yesterday I received a text from a coworker regarding adderall for sale. After work I drove to her apartment complex – a fancy skyrise on the Mississippi River in downtown St. Paul – to meet her. I bought 10 of them and I’ve been at it ever since – through Friday night, into Saturday morning, and into Saturday night’s Big Ten Championship Game.
Despite their offense becoming a nationwide punchline this season – four of their games featured the lowest over/under numbers in college football history, including the lowest ever at 24.5 when they played Nebraska, with the under hitting in each of those – Iowa managed to ride their first-rate defense and strong special teams to a Big Ten West title, clinching it on their Senior Night with a comeback victory over Illinois. They finished their regular season with a solid 10-2 record, their only losses coming at Penn State (31-0) and against Minnesota (12-10). The Big Ten West title earned the Hawkeyes their third trip to the Big Ten Championship Game since its inception in 2011. They were 0-2 in those games – the latest a blowout loss to Michigan in 2021 – and Vegas oddsmakers did not like their chances of beating Michigan this year. In a rematch of that 2021 Big Ten Championship Game, the betting line favored the Big Ten East champs by a whopping 21 and a half points, with the over/under set rather low at 35.
For Michigan and its fanbase, Indianapolis had become familiar territory of late. The 2023 Big Ten Championship represented Michigan’s third trip to Indy in as many years. They had won it outright in 2021 and 2022. Five years ago, the prospect of three straight Big Ten Championship Game appearances sounded like a pipe dream for Michigan fans. I remember the angst and jealousy I felt when Michigan State made the Big Ten Championship three times in its first 5 years – Sparty went 2-1 in conference championship games, losing to Wisco in the inaugural Big Ten title game before winning it in 2013 and in 2015 over Ohio State and Iowa, respectively – and I recall confessing to one close Spartan friend that I wished we could just make an appearance in one. In those dark times, a multitude of reasons made it feel unlikely that we’d ever get to Indy, but Ohio State’s dominance against us in The Game made it virtually impossible. An end to the Buckeyes dominance in the rivalry never felt imminent or even forthcoming; as such, I accepted our demotion in terms of prestige and national relevance as a permanent one.
Even Jim Harbaugh, embraced as a savior in Ann Arbor before he even coached a game, failed to get us there through the first six years of his tenure, cementing my permanent hopelessness. That is, until he did. It took him six years – perhaps an indication of how bad the program’s culture (read: country club atmosphere) was before his arrival – but when Harbaugh got us there, it was with a team that bore no resemblance to any Michigan teams of the past 15 years. Harbaugh had changed the culture. The team he took to Indy was a gritty one, one full of heart and swagger.
Michigan won the Big Ten Championship in both 2021 and 2022, defeating Iowa and Purdue, respectively, but the fact that we subsequently lost in the first round of the College Football Playoff both years made the 2023 version of the B10 Championship feel more like a chore than something to be enjoyed. Michigan had bigger goals in mind, making it a bit of a trap game. That Michigan was coming off of perhaps the biggest game in program history – the ramifications of their matchup with OSU a week ago extended far beyond the normal parameters of The Game, in light of the sign-stealing accusations levied against Harbaugh and co. – increased the danger of a trap game. It would have been understandable if Michigan overlooked Iowa, considering not only the magnitude of their victory over Ohio State but also the result of the 2021 championship game, which saw Michigan embarrass the Hawkeyes 42-3. In fact, Iowa hadn’t beaten us since 2016.
Wearing yellow pants and black jerseys, Iowa received the opening kickoff at Lucas Oil Stadium only to go three and out. Kirk Ferentz sent out Tory Taylor, the excellent punter who saw the field so much that Hawkeyes fans wore shirts celebrating him. One such shirt read: “I cheer for the punter.” Another said: “Punting is winning.” I guess punting got their defense onto the field, but still; I thought that it’d be a cold day in hell when I bought a shirt glorifying a punter. Taylor’s first punt went only 39 yards; Semaj Morgan, serving as the Wolverines’ primary return man for the first time all season, made a fair catch at the 31.
Donning their all-white uniforms, Michigan worked methodically downfield, going 52 yards over 12 plays before Iowa’s defense forced a 4th and 1 at the 17-yard line. Perhaps adhering to a more conservative strategy for this game, considering their offensively challenged opponent, Harbaugh called on his field goal unit. James Turner, an unsung hero of the Ohio State win, drilled it from 35 yards out, putting Michigan ahead 3-0 early. Iowa got their first first down on the next possession, but no more. Tory Taylor trotted out to punt for the second time. This time, he clobbered one, booting it 52 yards. Semaj Morgan fielded the ball inside the ten. He juked two Hawkeyes, then split upfield through the middle, finding a seam and breaking loose. Making his coaches look like geniuses for naming him the first-string punt returner, Morgan took it 87 yards, nearly scoring before being brought down at the Iowa 5-yard line. It constituted the longest punt return in Big Ten Championship game history, and it provided the first sparks of the game for Michigan. From there, McCarthy handed the ball to Blake the Great on consecutive plays. The first went for 3 yards, and the second saw Corum follow fullback Max Bredeson into the endzone. Michigan took a 10-0 lead.
That constituted the scoring sum for the first half, with both teams blanking in the second quarter. Iowa’s defense continued to look solid, forcing punts on Michigan’s next four drives and prompting me to wonder at halftime what kind of predicament we’d be in had it not been for Morgan’s brilliant punt return. Yet the Hawkeyes offense lived up to their reputation, too, generating almost nothing in the first half. Of their 7 first half possessions, six resulted in Tory Taylor punts. The other one ended when an Iowa receiver coughed up the ball following a reception, resulting in a fumble recovery by Michigan’s Kris Jenkins.
Unchanged since the end of the first quarter, the scoreboard at halftime read 10-0. For their part, Iowa had to feel like they were still in it; the defense, after all, could only be held responsible for giving up 3 points. For Michigan fans who anticipated a cakewalk, that score felt way too close for comfort; the game plan, moreover, felt too conservative. Nobody questioned that Iowa’s defense carried them all season, yet somehow they still surprised me with how tough they looked early on.
At the same time, a 10-0 lead against Iowa was different than a 10-0 lead against Maryland – a team capable of scoring points in a hurry – for instance. It did not appear certain or even likely that Iowa could put that many points on the board against Michigan’s defense. Furthermore, Michigan – referred to as a boa constrictor for much of the season – notoriously got stronger in the second half. The Wolverines had built a reputation as a dominant third quarter team, in particular, and they got the ball to start the second half.
On the opening possession of the third quarter, McCarthy hit Roman Wilson for a 14-yard completion that pushed the Wolverines into Iowa territory near midfield, but the drive stalled thereafter, forcing another Tommy Doman punt. Doman pinned Iowa at their own 6-yard line, providing another spark from special teams that became a turning point in the game. Iowa ran for 3 yards on the ensuing first down, then quarterback Deacon Hill – who replaced Michigan transfer Cade McNamara during Iowa’s fifth game of the season after McNamara went down with a season-ending injury – dropped back to pass on 2nd down. Mike Sainristil blitzed from the outside, rushing Hill from his blindside. Sainristil hit Hill as the quarterback cocked his arm back to throw. Initially, the officials blew the play dead, ruling it an incomplete pass, but then they went to the replay tent for another look. After video review the refs changed their tune, ruling that Hill’s arm was not yet moving forward in his throwing motion. As such, they ruled the play a fumble that was recovered by Michigan, providing the Wolverines a big swing of momentum in the process. Hawkeyes OC Brian Ferentz, who had learned on October 30 that he would not be retained for the 2024 season on account of the historically inept offense he oversaw, threw a (perhaps justified) tantrum over the call, drawing an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty that only worsened matters for his team. This all transpired during a commercial break, making the end result feel like an early Christmas present.
It took Michigan only a play to capitalize. On 1st and goal from the 6-yard line, Sherrone Moore called on Mr. Automatic. Taking the handoff from McCarthy, Corum smashed it in for his second touchdown of the night, this one a milestone. It was Corum’s 55th all-time touchdown for the Maize and Blue, tying him with “The A-Train,” Anthony Thomas – whom I grew up watching (1997-2000) – for the most touchdowns in school history, a truly astounding feat. The score 17-0, all of a sudden, Corum’s score made me feel a lot better about the game’s prognosis.
In response, the Hawkeyes orchestrated their best offensive drive of the half, which is to say they gained two whole first downs on it. The second one of those pushed Iowa into Michigan territory, a rarity in the game, but Michigan’s defense held there, stuffing a quarterback sneak on 4th and 1 from the 44-yard line. A morale drainer for Iowa, this resulted in a turnover on downs.
Another James Turner field goal, this one from 46-yards out, resulted from the turnover on downs, extending the Wolverines’ lead to 20-0 as the third quarter expired. To open the fourth quarter, the teams once again exchanged punts in a field position battle. Then Michigan’s defense provided another one of the game’s signature moments. On a first and ten from the Iowa 26, Deacon Hill dropped back to pass, unaware of pressure coming from his blindside once again. Having blown past Iowa’s left tackle, Braiden McGregor charged the quarterback, swatting at Hill’s throwing arm from behind and forcing a fumble that Kenneth Grant promptly fell on at the Iowa 15-yard line. “Woah, Braiden McGregor!” Gus Johnson, calling the game for FOX, exclaimed, “shot out of a cannon.”
McGregor’s strip sack set up Michigan’s offense nicely with a 1st and 10 within the redzone, but Michigan’s offense only backtracked, subsequently, losing three yards cumulatively over three plays. Facing a 4th and 13 from the Iowa 18-yard line, Harbaugh again called upon James Turner. This time, Turner put it through the uprights from 36 yards out, making the kicker a clutch 3 for 3 on the night. This one gave Michigan a 23-0 advantage with nine minutes and change remaining in the game.
In desperation mode, Iowa leaned on Deacon Hill’s throwing arm on its next possession, a risky proposition considering Hill’s lackluster performance theretofore (for the game, Hill completed 18 of 32 passing attempts for 120 yards). Generating some momentum, Hill started the drive with two consecutive completions. The first of those went to Kaleb Brown for 5 yards, and the second went to Addison Ostrenga for 19 yards, giving Iowa a first down at the 50-yard line. Then Hill faltered, throwing two straight incompletions before connecting with Nico Ragaini for 5 yards on 3rd and 10. That presented a 4th down and 5 for Iowa at the Michigan 45-yard line, one the Hawkeyes needed to keep any hopes they might have had alive. Instead, Hill misfired again, throwing a fourth down incompletion that resulted in another turnover on downs. Taking over from there, Michigan’s offense battled for 23 yards over 6 plays before the Iowa D forced a 4th and 1 from the Iowa 32. Sticking to the conservative game plan, Harbaugh sent in Turner for his fourth and longest field goal attempt yet, this one from 50 yards out. The distance proved no contest for Turner, who could have staked a claim for game MVP, at that point.
Iowa’s last gasp went nowhere. Faced with a 4th and 12 from their own 43-yard line, Iowa yet again turned the ball over on downs when Derrick Moore sacked Hill for a loss of 4 on the play. That effectively ended the game. Taking over possession with only 1:45 left in the fourth quarter, Michigan kept the ball on the ground to run out the remainder of the clock. With the game clock showing zeros, the scoreboard read 26-0.
With the victory, Jim Harbaugh became the first coach in Big Ten history to win three straight outright conference titles. Somehow, he managed to dodge attempts made to bathe him in Gatorade. Selflessly, he also managed to make the trophy exchange with Big Ten Commissioner Tony Pettiti – an encounter Michigan fans had salivated over in hopes that Harbaugh might tell Pettiti, who spinelessly caved to pressure from other schools and suspended Harbaugh without due process for the final three games of the season, to kiss his ass – anti-climactic. In doing so, he kept the spotlight on his players, where it ought to be. Specifically, he asked for the spotlight to shine on Michigan’s fallen comrade, Zak Zinter, requesting that the Big Ten Championship trophy go to Michigan’s All-American guard before anyone else. In another classic moment that defined the magical season, Zinter flashed a big smile as he hoisted the golden football.
Craig and Jello, who attended the game, sent inebriated updates through the BOX House group chat. They claimed they were going to Hooters to celebrate.
Earlier in the day, Alabama had upset #1 Georgia in the SEC Championship game, handing the Bulldogs their first loss in, like, 2 years. The loss to the Crimson Tide might have ended Georgia’s quest for a national championship three-peat, too, as it seems unlikely that the selection committee will give them a spot in the College Football Playoff; there simply did not appear to be room for the Dawgs in it. Having conquered the Big Ten, Michigan looked poised to take over the top ranking in the CFP standings in light of Georgia’s loss.
Putting Michigan in the top spot represented the easy part of the job for the committee, who look to have their hands full tonight in selecting the third and fourth Playoff seeds before tomorrow’s selection show. Michigan and Washington, both 13-0 conference champs, were locks at 1 and 2, but chaos reigned after that, the third and fourth spots decidedly uncertain. Texas (12-1, Big 12 Champs), Alabama (12-1, SEC Champs), Florida State (13-0, ACC Champs), and Georgia (12-1, defending national champions) all had strong cases for their inclusion. Two of those teams would be on the outside looking in come Sunday evening.
Sunday, December 3
I slept from approximately 3:00 a.m. until 8:30 a.m. When I woke up, I took some adderall, made coffee, and looked for something to watch before the day’s NFL action commenced. I ended up watching a true crime special on Hulu, one that recounted the story of a national parks serial killer who targeted hikers in the southeastern United States. Also listened to some of my audiobook, We Don’t Know Ourselves: A Personal History of Modern Ireland by Fintan O’Toole.
The College Football Playoff selection committee excluded Florida State and Georgia from the CFP. The omission of Florida State caused an uproar, for the Seminoles finished their regular season undefeated, with a record of 13-0. It was assumed that the only reason for their exclusion was the season-ending injury suffered by their star quarterback, Jordan Travis, something entirely out of their control. The committee’s decision marked the first time that an undefeated Power Five conference team did not get selected for the College Football Playoff.
Michigan, the top overall seed in the CFP, drew #4 Alabama in a battle of college football bluebloods. They were to meet in the Rose Bowl Game on January 1, 2024, at 5:00 EST. The other quarterfinal pitted #2 Washington against #3 Texas in what looked to be an entertaining contest. Bama, fresh off their victory over UGA, presented a formidable (read: scary) test, no doubt. Nick Saban surely will cook up a game plan tailored to exploit Michigan’s weaknesses. Then again, the Tide should have lost to Auburn only eight days prior, so they were not unbeatable. At any rate, you have to run the gauntlet if you want to reach the pinnacle.
Sunday was a gray day in Minneapolis, with the temperatures dropping to 36 degrees. Hibernation season has begun in earnest. By 1:00 p.m., I had yet to leave my apartment building. The Detroit Lions took an early 21-7 lead over the Saints in New Orleans. Later, the San Francisco 49ers take on the Philadelphia Eagles, heretofore the top dog in the NFL.
