glory days

 About a year and a half later, Sean Forrester and I returned to the secret spot behind Mr. Z’s party store – without Wes Helms around the second time. In Wes’s place was Danny McGrath, another old St. Mike’s friend. We had just started our sophomore years. Sean and I were going into our second year at Dearborn Divine Child, while Danny attended University of Detroit Jesuit, an all boys prep school. That inconvenience had contributed to a growing distance between us during our freshman years, but drivers’ licenses changed the game, sophomore year. 

Sean and Danny both turned sixteen that September, and Sean’s license, specifically, broadened the horizons of my social life tenfold. His parents bought him a used, silver Dodge Stratus, and he drove me home after football practices and around town, on weekends. Anywhere Sean went, I went. With the windows rolled down, the speakers blasting 50 Cent, Staind, Blink 182, Papa Roach, sometimes we drove just to drive, to feel the wind in our hair.

Sean and I had played together on the freshman football team, and although he and I still bunked together at football camp before sophomore year, Sean was moving on to bigger and better things, athletically. Following in his father’s footsteps, Sean had switched positions from running back to quarterback during the transition to high school. In his freshman campaign, Sean showed enough potential that Mr. Forrester, who had recently taken over as varsity football coach, named him the starting quarterback going into summer camp.

A sophomore starting at quarterback for the varsity team was no small social matter at our high school. In addition to playing with the expectations his father’s legacy demanded of him, Sean was expected to orchestrate a pass-happy offense on a team that fully expected to compete for the state championship that season. Soon, college recruiters came calling. They sent brochures via mail and made appearances at games with their clipboards. At 6’3, Sean had a cannon of a right arm and an ability to scramble that made him a dual threat, but he had a heck of a lot of pressure on his shoulders. If he felt it, though, he never demonstrated as much to me; he remained ever assured — slightly cocky, even — and in that sense maybe he did have a little James Dean in him, or at least a little Randy “Pink” Floyd. 

Rapidly ascending towards status of high school god, Sean received invites to all varieties of parties and social gatherings. He knew kids from almost every nearby high school; fun-loving and charismatic, he never clung to a specific clique and everyone wanted to be around him. His sudden celebrity found me riding shotgun in the varsity quarterback’s ride, and I enjoyed the entourage fame. It was through Sean that I got involved with the Catholic Central and U of D guys who partied, and that was the general group we were with before our return trip to Mr. Z’s Party Store and the secret spot behind it.

Visions of Yzerman

Bukowski on Writing

“Writing was never work for me. It had been the same for as long as I could remember: turn on the radio to a classical music station, light a cigarette or a cigar, open the bottle. The typer did the rest. All I had to do was be there. The whole process allowed me to continue when life itself offered very little, when life itself was a horror show. There was always the typer to soothe me, to talk to me, to entertain me, to save my ass. Basically that's why I wrote: to save my ass, to save my ass from the madhouse, from the streets, from myself.”

Charles Bukowski

Hollywood

"You want to be a hermit you say but you don't do it much I noticed, you're just tired of life and wanta sleep."

Boogers

 

“Like the Rolling Thunder Revue, The Last Waltz was fueled by cocaine. 'It was ankle deep,' says Michael McClure, who read poetry as part of the concert. 'When I look at that film, I get a coke high.' Backstage there was a cocaine room, painted white and decorated with noses cut out of Groucho Marx masks. A tape played sniffing noises. Neil Young came out to sing 'Helpless' with a white lump hanging from his nose. The producers had to hire a Hollywood optical company to have the lump removed from the film.”

Howard Sounes

Down the Highway: The Life of Bob Dylan

Texas Medicine

 

"Now the rainman gave me two cures

Then he said 'jump right in'

The one was Texas medicine

The other was just railroad gin

And like a fool I mixed them

And it strangled up my mind

And now people just get uglier

And I have no sense of time"

Dylan

 "Stuck Inside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again"

"Two Riders Were Approaching"

 

"After sunset the wind had dropped. The night was calm and fresh. Toward midnight the voices began to subside, a cock crowed, the full moon began to show from behind the lime trees, a fresh white dewy mist began to rise, and stillness reigned over the village and the house.

Pictures of the near past- her father's illness and last moments- rose one after another to her memory. With mournful pleasure she now lingered over these images, repelling with horror only the last one, the picture of his death, which she felt she could not contemplate even in imagination at this still and mystic hour of night. And these pictures presented themselves to her so clearly and in such detail that they seemed now present, now past, and now future."

Leo Tolstoy

War and Peace (1869)

The previous autumn, the hunting, "Uncle," and the Christmas holidays spent at Otradnoe

 Natasha was calmer but no happier. She not merely avoided all external forms of pleasure- balls, promenades, concerts, and theaters- but she never laughed without a sound of tears in her laughter. She could not sing. As soon as she began to laugh, or tried to sing by herself, tears choked her: tears of remorse, tears at the recollection of those pure times which could never return, tears of vexation that she should so uselessly have ruined her young life which might have been so happy. Laughter and singing in particular seemed to her like a blasphemy, in face of her sorrow. Without any need of self-restraint, no wish to coquet ever entered her head. She said and felt at that time that no man was more to her than Nastasya Ivanovna, the buffoon. Something stood sentinel within her and forbade her every joy. Besides, she had lost all the old interests of her carefree girlish life that had been so full of hope. The previous autumn, the hunting, "Uncle," and the Christmas holidays spent with Nicholas at Otradnoe were what she recalled oftenest and most painfully. What would she not have given to bring back even a single day of that time! But it was gone forever. Her presentiment at the time had not deceived her- that that state of freedom and readiness for any enjoyment would not return again. Yet it was necessary to live on.

Leo Tolstoy

War and Peace

2021 Michigan Football

 

Could the Harbaugh Extension Paralyze Michigan?

Going Into Year 7 of Harbaugh Era, Michigan Football Still Sucks

The third millennium has not been kind to Michigan Football. Once one of college football’s elites, way back in the nineties, Michigan hasn’t won a Big Ten title since 2004. They haven’t sniffed a Rose Bowl since 2006. The iPhone didn’t exist then. Jim Harbaugh, billed as the program’s savior, has failed to alter that course in any meaningful way. Indeed, it has been a pretty crummy couple of decades for Wolverines fans. 

We’ve lost, like, fifteen straight to our archrival. Actually, it’s fifteen out of the last sixteen — and eight straight — but keeping track, at this point, seems akin to reading old love letters from an ex-girlfriend. In the college football world, that kind of streak is just depression personified. Only Tennessee fans, who have watched their Vols lose 15 of their last 16 games to Florida, can possibly understand the psychological ramifications of such repeated heartbreak, such a fall from prominence. 

2006: A Turn for the Worse

In 2006, Michigan went into Ohio State weekend 11-0. Ohio State and Michigan were ranked #1 and #2, respectively, in national polls, meaning a ticket to the national championship was on the line. The media dubbed it “The Game of the Century.” That Friday, Bo Schembechler died, and approximately twenty-four hours later, Michigan lost a nail-biter at The Horseshoe on a controversial late hit flag. 

Subsequently, the program imploded. The next fall, we endured — somehow — the ignominy of Appalachian State. The year after that, we went 3-8 in Rich Rodriguez’s first year at the helm; it qualified as the worst season in Michigan history. Denard Robinson was cool, but Rich Rod wasn’t so much. We ran him out of town. Brady Hoke showed up, after that. We fell out of national relevance while our two main rivals prospered to heights previously unimaginable.

Is Michigan a Basketball School, Now?

Jim Harbaugh was supposed to salvage Michigan fans from such disgrace. In his first season, Michigan  had “trouble with the snap”. 97.1 The Ticket, Detroit’s primary sports radio station, still plays the audio clip from that blocked punt ad nauseam. Worse, Michigan lost again to Ohio State, who subsequently beat Alabama and Oregon in the Playoff to win the National Championship. 2016 was supposed to be the year we finally enacted revenge. With a Rose Bowl berth on the line, Michigan took the Buckeyes to double overtime, despite some questionable home-cooked officiating, only to lose on a rotten spot. 

To date, Harbaugh still hasn’t beaten Ohio State. He is 0-5 against them and must have felt pretty lucky to avoid playing them in 2020.  Cumulatively, it all adds up to a never-ending hangover for the fanbase. Almost twenty years of woe has sucked the joy out of the experience; being a modern Michigan Football fan feels more like kissing a toilet seat.

Hey, it’s okay, we’re a basketball school now. For real, though, this time.  

In his second season as Michigan’s head basketball coach, Juwan Howard has demonstrated that he is the best coach in Ann Arbor. Nevertheless, Michigan’s payroll says otherwise. At present, Howard makes a base salary of only $2 million annually. Despite a 1-4 record in bowl games and a 1-8 record against top ten teams, Jim Harbaugh signed a four-year extension with his alma mater in January; the new contract will see him earn $4 million annually.

The Road to Apostasy

Harbaugh’s extension can’t paralyze Michigan Football. Michigan Football is already paralyzed. We’re talking James Joyce Dubliners levels of paralysis. 

On December 30, 2014, Jim Harbaugh received a savior’s welcome at Michigan. Support for him has been gradually waning ever since. Most fans have experienced the epiphany — that he’s mortal, after all — at some point. For some, it was his third, fourth, or fifth loss to Ohio State. The last one, a 56-27 thrashing at The Big House in 2019, demonstrated the enormity of the talent gap between the two programs in year five of the Harbaugh regime. 

For many, including this fan, it was the 2020 Michigan State game, a game in which Michigan was a three-touchdown favorite. First-year Michigan State coach Mel Tucker outcoached Harbaugh outright. The loss to the Spartans illustrated, moreover, that Harbaugh teams still play with a country club mentality that has dogged the program for decades. In that regard, it exposed cultural deficiencies. Specifically, the loss proved the football team lacks the “all-in” program culture that Juwan Howard has been so successful in cultivating at Crisler Center. 

Disconcertingly, many have pointed out that Harbaugh himself showed signs of apathy following the close loss to Ohio State in 2016. His enthusiasm and sideline antics noticeably mellowed, in 2017, suggesting the program’s malignancy is all-permeating.

Harbaugh: the “Quarterback Whisperer”

Glaringly, Harbaugh teams also exhibit a lack of player development. His quarterbacks, in particular, have consistently fizzled out. Wilton Speight, a Brady Hoke recruit, led the Wolverines to a ten-win season in 2016, but got injured early in the 2017 season and ultimately transferred to UCLA. Harbaugh recruits Brandon Peters and Dylan McCaffery both underwhelmed in brief appearances before transferring out. His most successful quarterbacks, Jake Rudock (Iowa) and Shea Patterson (Ole Miss) were incoming transfers; the latter actually appeared to regress in Ann Arbor.

In some instances, it seemed apparent even to casual observers that Harbaugh picked the wrong guy to start. This past year, for instance, Harbaugh recruit Joe Milton struggled mightily, prompting many to wonder why Dylan McCaffery hadn’t been the season’s starting QB; in fact, McCaffery wasn’t even available as a backup, as he’d opted out of the season and announced his intent to transfer. It is rumored that Harbaugh’s handling of the offseason battle between Milton and McCaffery irked the McCaffery family, prompting the transfer.

A disturbing trend, Milton recently announced that he’s transferring, too. Going into Harbaugh’s seventh season in 2021, Michigan is still looking for a quality starting quarterback. Ask Brandon Peters, Wilton Speight, John O’Korn, Shea Patterson, Dylan McCaffery, or Joe Milton if he’s a “quarterback whisperer”.

Reaction to the Harbaugh Extension

Yet the same fans who have tired of Harbaugh feel, in large part, apathetic about Harbaugh’s 2021 extension. Who else can we get? The covid-shortened season and related restrictions certainly limited Michigan’s options, in that regard. Moreover, if Jim Harbaugh can’t build a contender at Michigan, who can? Does any of it really matter in the grand scheme of the cosmos? (Indeed, following particularly heart-wrenching losses, we’ve sunk to referencing Carl Sagan’s “The Pale Blue Dot” and pondering its nihilistic undertones). 

Perhaps, in part, that apathy is a sign of the times. In the context of a global pandemic, the triviality of sports seems more readily apparent. Maybe it’s also the inevitable evolution of a sports fan, in terms of maturity. 

Or maybe that’s only the case at Michigan, where football just doesn’t seem to matter as much as it once did. For the sake of his or her mental health, even the staunchest optimists must accept reality, eventually (read: after losing 15 of 16 to Ohio State). We’ve grown complacent, apathetic, dispassionate, jaded, stoic.

Is Harbaugh Still a Good Coach?

Mediocrity and apathy notwithstanding, Jim Harbaugh may still be a good college football coach. Undisputedly, he thrived at Stanford — though skeptics claim his success there boiled down to the good fortune of recruiting Andrew Luck — before taking the San Francisco 49ers to Super Bowl XLVII. He brought a semblance of stability and notoriety back to Michigan following the turbulent Rich Rodriguez and Brady Hoke eras, even if he’s failed to beat Ohio State or win a Big Ten title. 

Perhaps, too, Michigan’s dismal 2-6 2020 season was a fluke. Chalk it up to injuries and opt-outs. If that is the case, Michigan’s agreement to extend Harbaugh provides him ample time to demonstrate as much. Unlike many other college football coaches, these days — including Rich Rod and Brady Hoke — he won’t be able to say he wasn’t given enough time to implement change.

Reasons for Optimism

Five-star recruit J.J. McCarthy, a 6’3 quarterback from La Grange Park, Illinois, enrolled early at Michigan this January. The fourth-ranked quarterback in his recruiting class, McCarthy played his senior year of high school football at the prestigious IMG Prep Academy in Florida; he led them to an undefeated season and a #1 ranking, nationally.

Many expect him to be Harbaugh’s saving grace, the quarterback recruit that finally pans out, long-term. Sports Illustrated is already speculating that he will be the 2021 starter. Others are clamoring for as much. McCarthy’s only been on campus a few weeks, but some have even wondered if he is the savior Michigan desperately needs.

Of course, Michigan fans have heard as much before (see: Shea Patterson, Brandon Peters, Joe Milton). But the hype surrounding McCarthy sounds different. Michigan.rivals.com alluded to McCarthy as “the chosen one” and compared him to Johnny Manziel, sans baggage. Recruiting profiles describe him as a charismatic leader and a tireless worker. 

McCarthy’s potential alone sounds like a good enough reason to give Harbaugh another season. But there are other reasons for optimism. Harbaugh overhauled his staff, this offseason. Don Brown is out as defensive coordinator. Mike Macdonald, previously the linebackers coach for the Baltimore Ravens, fills that vacancy. Harbaugh also poached Ravens assistant Matt Weiss, who will coach the quarterbacks for Michigan. In that sense, McCarthy’s development will be in experienced hands. Changing up the recipe certainly can’t hurt. 

Harbaugh’s Buy-Out Clause

If nothing works, Harbaugh’s new contract also provides Michigan a way out. One of the hidden details within the new contract pertains to Harbaugh’s buy-out clause. Under his first contract, Michigan would have had to pay Harbaugh about $10 million had they fired him during the 2020 season. The new contract reduces that number by more than half. Michigan can buy out the contract for $4 million in 2021. By 2022, that figure is reduced to $3 million; in 2023, it’s $2 million, and, in 2024, it’s only $1 million. 

In that sense, there is an acknowledgment by both parties that Harbaugh didn’t live up to the expectations underlying his first contract. His base salary, reduced from more than $8 million in 2020 to $4 million for 2021, demonstrates as much. Incentives provide him the opportunity to earn an additional $1 million for winning a Big Ten title and $500,000 for making the College Football Playoff, among other bonuses.

A Purgatory of Perpetual Nostalgia

Jim Harbaugh’s lackluster career at Michigan has made Michigan fans less rabid, but that doesn’t mean they’ll tolerate him forever. In fact, his extension only makes it easier for the university to part ways with its prototypical “Michigan Man”. In that scenario, Luke Fickell and Matt Campbell represent viable options to replace him.  

Likely Harbaugh will be coaching for his job next season, though critics said the same thing about the 2020 season, a failure by any measure. The hype surrounding J.J. McCarthy suggests his emergence as the starting quarterback has the potential to salvage it. At the same time, a sixth loss to Ohio State might be the final nail in the coffin. Michigan hired Harbaugh for the specific purpose of beating Ohio State, and losing six of six to the Buckeyes could permanently stain his legacy. Hell, even Brady Hoke beat the Buckeyes once.

The recent success of Ryan Day at Ohio State epitomizes an increasing talent disparity between college football’s elite (see: Clemson, Bama, and Ohio State) and its pretenders. That, coupled with Harbaugh’s inability to institute cultural change within the program, heretofore, suggests that saving his job will be a tall task. Until Harbaugh can reverse those trends, or until Michigan determines he never will, Michigan fans are confined to a purgatory of perpetual nostalgia.

Dead Wings Redux

Dead Wings

On this day in 1984, an eighteen year old rookie named Steve Yzerman represented the Campbell Conference in the NHL’s 36th annual All Star Game, held at Brendan Byrne Arena in East Rutherford, New Jersey. In doing so, Yzerman became the youngest player to appear in an All Star game. He not only appeared but factored. In the second period of the game, the Cranbrook, British Columbia native assisted on a goal to Detroit teammate John Ogrodnick, contributing to a 7-6 victory for the Campbell Conference. 

A rookie, that season, Yzerman was confronted with a mountain of a challenge. The fourth overall draft pick in the 1983 NHL Draft, he assumed the responsibility of leading Detroit out of the depths of “Dead Wings” era dormancy and into contention. When he arrived in Detroit, the Wings had failed to qualify for the Playoffs five straight seasons and fifteen of the past seventeen seasons, combined, dating back to 1966-67. 

Yzerman made an immediate impact. With 39 goals, he led the 1983-84 Wings in scoring. He also tied for the team lead in assists with 48 (Ivan Boldirev also had 48), thereby amassing a team-leading 87 points. He finished runner-up in the voting for the 1984 Calder Trophy, given to the league’s rookie of the year. More importantly, he led the team to its first playoff appearance in six years, setting in motion a chain of events that saw Detroit become a serious contender in the late eighties, then a dynasty, in the nineties. 

Thirty-seven years later, Yzerman now bears the responsibility for leading Detroit through its first rebuilding process since its Dead Wings Era. Then, Detroit chose Yzerman; this time, Yzerman chose Detroit. Now in his second year as Detroit’s General Manager, he is expected to orchestrate another rebirth in Hockeytown -- to bring the Dead Wings back to life, again.

It is a more complicated task, granted, but his impact, this time around, is less immediately apparent. After making the postseason for twenty-five consecutive seasons, Detroit has missed the Stanley Cup Playoffs four straight seasons. Last season, Yzerman's first as General Manager, saw the Wings finish dead last in the NHL standings, a stat that fails to accurately summarize their levels of ineptitude; their goal differential for the 2019-20 season, at -122, was more than double that of the second worst team in that category. If Detroit misses the postseason again in 2021, their futile slide would equal the one snapped by the 1983-84 Red Wings in Yzerman’s rookie year. 

Dead Wings Redux: Wings Losers of Six Straight

Avoiding that infamy seems improbable. Only ten games into the 2020-21 season, the Red Wings are fading fast. After starting the season 2-2, the Wings are, following Sunday’s 3-2 loss to Florida, losers of six straight. At 2-6-2, they sit alone at the bottom of the Atlantic Division standings. Only two teams have allowed more goals than Detroit. Their goal-differential, at -15, ranks second last in the NHL. Only 1-6-1 Ottawa sits below them in the league standings. 

Dylan Larkin also has a tall order as Yzerman’s heir apparent. Named captain by Yzerman this January, Larkin scored first in Sunday’s contest at Little Ceasars Arena, giving Detroit a 1-0 lead in the first. On a nifty feed from Giovanni Smith, the Waterford native made a beautiful move in front of the Florida net, deking to his backhand before flipping the puck over Panther’s goalie Chris Driedger’s left pad, top shelf. 

In the second period, however, the Wings’ bugaboo, their penalty kill — a unit that allowed two goals in Friday’s 3-2 overtime loss to Florida — failed them again. Florida went to the powerplay twice in the period and capitalized each time. They got the first at 2:03 from Patric Hornqvist, his fifth of the young season, and the second at 15:04 from Aaron Ekblad, his second of the season. At full strength, Carter Verhaeghe scored the game-winner 8:09 into the third period. An Anthony Mantha blast cut the deficit to one with less than two minutes to play, but a late Red Wings push with an extra attacker failed, subsequently. 

Thomas Greiss took both Friday and Sunday’s losses in goal, extending his winless streak to five. He stopped 27 of 30 Florida shots in Sunday’s game. At 0-4-1, he remains winless in a Red Wings uniform despite admirable play. Implausibly, the Red Wings are now winless in thirty straight games when Jonathan Bernier does not start, a streak that extends back to November 1, 2019. 

As the season turns to February, the road does not get any easier for the Red Wings. They embark on a two-week Southern road trip that starts Wednesday, February 3. They play a pair of games in Tampa Bay, where the Super Bowl-festivities will be in full swing, this week, before traveling to Florida for two more, next week. Tampa is the defending Stanley Cup champion, while Florida sits atop the Atlantic Division. A pair of games at Nashville round out the road trip. 

Fans in Hockeytown better start anticipating the NHL Draft Lottery again. Many expected Detroit, who finished dead last in the 2019-20 standings by a longshot, to be more competitive this season, but not many signs indicate that will be the case. Instead, Red Wings fans are experiencing flashbacks to the Dead Wings era. Call it Dead Wings Redux. Patience and continued faith in the “Yzerplan” offer their only recourse.

solitaries

 "An endless list of writers and painters and philosophers and scientists have been described as hermits, including Charles Darwin, Thomas Edison, Emily Bronte, and Vincent Van Gogh. Herman Melville, the author of Moby Dick, withdrew from public life for thirty years. 'All profound things,' he wrote, 'are preceded and attended by Silence.' Flannery O'Connor rarely left her rural farm in Georgia. Albert Einstein referred to himself as 'a loner in daily life.'

The American essayist William Deresiewicz wrote that 'no real excellence, personal or social, artistic, philosophical, scientific, or moral, can arise without solitude.' The historian Edward Gibbon said that 'solitude is the school of genius'. Plato, Descartes, Kierkegaard, and Kafka have all been described as solitaries. 'Not till we have lost the world,' Thoreau wrote, 'do we begin to find ourselves.'"

Michael Finkel

The Stranger in the Woods: the Extraordinary Story of the Last True Hermit